Neopets was the most fun a middle schooler could have in the mid-2000s
But all that time spent in Neopia did more than keep us occupied in computer lab — it taught us valuable skills that prepared us for our adult lives.
1. Because of Neopets we always take advantage of free food when it’s offered…
2. …while remaining mindful that there are always those with greater need.
Once you made some money, neither you nor your bougie pets were welcome at the Soup Faerie’s kitchen.
3. We understand that sometimes we have to do things we don’t like to make money.
Meerca Chase: the origin of “negging.”
4. And there is nothing more rewarding than being well-compensated for doing what you love.
AW YISS, DESTRUCT-O-MATCH!
5. We developed a taste for adventure and exploration.
6. The Snowager taught us to always arrive on time.
We had his sleeping schedule memorized.
7. We have a healthy skepticism for “too good to be true” situations, mostly because of Jhudora’s quests.
8. We’re not surprised when high quality merchandise demands an equally high price.
A Baby Paint Brush was basically the quilted Chanel bag of Neopets.
9. While everyone struggles to understand the stock market, we were tycoons by the 7th grade.
10. We know it’s worth it to take risks, but we choose those risks very carefully.
The only game show where you could win either 10,000 dollars OR a communicable disease.
11. And gambling is only fun in moderation.
You either bought one of these or you spent all of your Neopoints on these.
12. Grumpy King Skarl reminded us that laughter is the best medicine.
Or at least “barely-there, grudging smiles” are.
13. Our interior decorating skills are on point because we practiced on our NeoHomes.
No side parlor was complete without a 40,000 Neopoint fuzzy carpet.
14. We learned how to trust other people, or at least other faeries.
Thanks to that Water Faerie we had eight million “Healing Potion II” bottles cluttering our inventories. It was awesome.
15. We put in the time to learn specialized skills, knowing that we’d need them later on.
Actual days of our lives were spent practicing Ultimate Bullseye.
16. All of our critical thinking skills were developed trying to solve the site-wide mystery plots.
WHO KILLED KING COLTZAN? WE HAVE TO STOP DR. SLOTH! BRING BACK MARAQUA.
17. But most of all we learned to put other people’s (or pets’) needs before our own.
I’ll eat when my Neopet eats, Mom.
So thanks, Neopets, for equipping us with everything we needed to become functional adults.
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