41 WTF Thoughts You Had While Watching: "Gotham"

    Season 1, Episode 17: "Red Hood"

    •Whenever we hear rock music intros on Gotham, we're trained like Pavlov's dog to expect some kind of interrogation montage. This time it's just a van.

    •The best part about this enduring prequel gag is that we get to have moments like these, when people directly question why on earth someone is going around with a bright red hood. It's like wow, bro, what if people start calling you "Red Hood" or something! Thank you, Gotham.

    •Lots of characters in this episode (most of the Red Hood Gang, Mr. Chang the Best Witness Ever) are amping up their Jersey accents. Gotham City is canonically in New Jersey, people! It's time to embrace that.

    •Hey, this hooded guy is really playing to the crowd. He's quite the....joker.

    •I'm putting this down as another Joker fake-out, which this show specializes in and I am fine with.

    •They get out of the bank and walk down the street STILL WEARING SKI MASKS, whereas if they took the masks off they would probably just look like a bunch of buddies about to hit the gym.

    •This really cute Etsy Banker wins the first-ever Gotham Recap Adorable Bit Character award. Look at her glasses! We love you, Etsy Banker!

    •Jim Gordon doesn't tolerate vigilante justice. LOL just you wait, friendo.

    •Harvey saw a bum eating oysters at Madeline's. This city is going to the dogs!

    •How often do you think Alfred answers the door to Wayne Manor with a loaded gun. It's every time, isn't it?

    •LOOK AT THE LION PAINTING. Alfred has received his guest in the LION PARLOR.

    •Are those supposed to be lion representations of Bruce's parents? Does that make him Simba?

    •Hakuna. BATata. Hakuna. BATata.

    •The Waynes did a horrible job of vetting their butler. Alternatively, they did the best job ever of vetting a man who can both make breakfast and shoot a man right between the eyes.

    •Jim just stole Harvey's glasses like a big bully.

    •Wait- jokey Red Hood is dead! Hood passes down. New Joker fake-out.

    •Terrible stand-up comedian at Oswald's. Joker fake-out #3.

    •Penguin just dropped a "duh" at his barman. Penguin is a child of the 90s.

    •Yo did anyone catch Butch's scar? He now has a letter V carved onto his temple, and why? Because Victor protects his copyright by signing his work. Yaaasz!

    •"Give me the Double D," - Harvey, presented without comment.

    •Harvey just drank a corpse soda. Consistent.

    •This is deviating from the usual vein but – assuming the actor who plays one of the remaining Red Hood Gang members does not have a speech impediment – why does his character need to be a stutterer? Is it to show that he's timid and weird? Fluent people portraying stereotypes of people who stutter = not cool.

    •We're watching a lot of this episode through surveillance tape.

    •Mr. Chang the Best Witness Ever! Seriously, this guy could not give two fucks about crime and just wants his money. He represents all of Gotham City. Chang is flawless.

    •Reggie is really into getting Bruce to beat him up. Is this supposed to build character? "HIT ME. HIT ME AGAIN. SET ME ON FIRE. AAGHHH"

    •But the end of this scene is a bit sweet because you know that Alfred considers Bruce his son. "Have you ever raised a child," he asks, and you realize you've never wanted anything more than you've wanted Alfred to be your butler-dad.

    •Also there is a not small amount of sexual tension between Alfred and Reggie and that's all I'm going to say about that. Actual note: "They are definitely exes, right?"

    •Meanwhile at the girls-only clock treehouse, Babs has really taken to her role as a drunk, messy mom. The – wait for it – Batty Draper of Gotham.

    •MAKEOVER TIME. Love the idea of Barbara teaching Selina how to weaponize her sexuality. Pity she'll probably die before she teaches Batgirl the same.

    •Meanwhile on the spinoff that is Fish Mooney's yet-unnamed medical drama, she's getting some ~answers.~ Kind of.

    •Fish now knows she's up against some guy called Doctor Dulmacher. Which uh. Um. Just going to throw this out there: Dollmaker.

    •FISH WHAT ARE YOU DOING NO FISH WHAT–

    •Jesus Christ, if anyone had even a sliver of a doubt that Fish Mooney is metal as fuck, you can shove that sliver right down your throat because she just scooped out her own eye TO SPITE A MAN. Give this woman her own show.

    •Bruce Wayne wants to hang out with a bunch of older dudes and get drunk on really good burgundy. Can't wait for him to recreate this scene with the Justice League and a young Robin in 14 years.

    •We find out the the Red Hood Gang's MO has been to get back at banks that screwed them. Occupy Gotham!

    •Harvey is really mad at Destro for getting shot. How dare he, am I right?

    •Alfred finds Reggie stealing, and something tells me this is not going to work out like the opening number of Les Mis.

    •Bruce shows up a few moments after Alfred gets shanked like "I thought I heard a stabbing down here, is everyone OK?"

    •He also just picks up the phone and 911 is already there. Granted, if I were Bruce Wayne, I would have a direct line to the authorities in my house too.

    •Red Hood Gang is now all dead, including the new Hood. Joker fake-out!

    •Hey Jim while you're in the hospital dealing with Alfred, you think you should maybe visit Baby Scarecrow? That one's kind of on you.

    Holey Red Bag So You Can See Through It! It's time to see how this affects our —