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1. You buy the game, thinking this isn't going to be like last year.
2. But the reality soon becomes this.
3. You remember how impossible the game is when you first start.
4. Especially when you play as a big team, because all your players literally HATE you.
5. You break a couple of letters off your keyboard in frustration.
How often do you really need the 'c' or 'v' though, right?
6. But after a few sleepless nights and a few missed deadlines, things begin to pick up.
7. This leads to more sleepless nights.
8. And more missed deadlines.
9. Before long, you come to consider managing your team as your full-time job, and your actual work as the distracting side note.
10. The sacking of any real life manager begins to feel desperately unfair, no matter how badly they were doing.
11. It's a couple of seasons in, and you win your first trophy. You dance around your room like an idiot.
12. But far from this giving any kind of respite, this is when things start to get really intense.
13. Transfer negotiations basically become full-blown warfare.
14. And the important games have you jumping around and screaming like you're actually on the touchline.
15. You wonder why you've developed an irrational hatred for some of your real life favourite players.
16. You start to wear a suit for cup finals.
17. Every defeat feels like you've been literally stabbed through the heart.
18. You get so good you start to wonder if maybe you should get your coaching badges and become a real life footy boss.
19. Before remembering that would involve you leaving the house.
20. You draw up a list of every young player your team should sign in real life, based purely on the game.
21. And on the rare occassion you actually see your friends, you have entire conversations based around footballers you've never really seen play.
22. Actually, you've played for so long that the game is almost entirely made up of computer generated players who don't even exist.
23. "Managed York City to the 2035 Champions League trophy" is something you actually put on your CV.
24. Then, out of nowhere, when everything had been going so well, you descend into an inexplicable and wholly torturous losing streak.
25. You start to go a bit crazy.
26. Then this happens.
27. "Right, that's the last time. I'm never buying this game ever again."
*Return to start*
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