1.
When you get to go in a really fancy toilet and it's like a treat for your buttcheeks.
2.
When you've let out such a big one that you've got no energy left to live.
3.
When it feels like it's coming out sideways.
4.
When you do a shit so bad you make passers-by feel physically sick.
5.
When you go in expecting a massive, satisfying dump and leave with nothing but disappointment and a shitty arse.
6.
When you're in public cubicles and everyone is waiting for everyone else to leave before starting.
7.
When you go in the middle of the night and don't want to wake anyone by turning on the lights.
8.
When you're about to drop a huge one.
9.
When it's almost there.
12.
When you can't help but step back and admire your handiwork.
13.
When you're squeezing hard but nothing's coming out.
14.
When you had a curry earlier.
15.
When it's so much bigger than you ever expected.
16.
When someone knocks on the toilet door.
17.
When you're out in public and you realise a fart may have actually been something a little more solid.
18.
And when you confirm it.
19.
When it's got such a stench even you can't really handle it.
20.
When someone asks why it smells so bad in there.
21.
When you've finished the first wave but you know there's more to come so there's nothing you can do but wait.
22.
When you get hit by the dreaded splashback.
23.
When you're squeezing out a whopper and try to look round and catch a glimpse of how big it is even though you know that's gross.
24.
When you go at work and you're being paid to poo.
25.
When you've got no choice but to go in a really gross toilet.
26.
When you're pushing out a little dainty one.
27.
When it's a non-wiper.
