13 Reasons Walter Mercado Is The Beyoncé Of TV Astrology

A look at TV’s most gorgeous and talented astrologist, con mucho, mucho amor. He woke up like this.

What you need to know: Walter Mercado is a TV astrologist.

Charles C / Creative Commons / Via Flickr: charlesclabs

…And a legend. A former dancer, Walter appeared in telenovelas before eventually landing his own show, where he looked to the stars to dispense advice about love, finances, and health. Always with flair. Always with style. And always ending with his catchphrase: “…con mucho, mucho amor.”

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And he is the Beyoncé of TV astrology. To wit:

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1. Capes, sequins, and gold: a combination only these two could properly wear the hell out of.

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Whether she’s wearing designer gowns or a bedazzled denim skort and bustier combo by Tina Knowles, Beyoncé knows how to dress to impress. Similarly, Walter Mercado can wear the hell out of a velveteen three-piece suit or a metallic caftan with matching palazzo pants.

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2. No one can match Beyoncé’s smize game. Except Walter.

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Beyoncé’s arches are used by angels when they need to quickly slide down from heaven. But Walter Mercado’s eyebrows are escalators that lead directly to Jesus.

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3. Bey’s handwork is iconic, but just take a look at Walter’s hand language.

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Beyoncé’s Single Ladies hand dance is now a mainstay at every bachelorette party and a hit among moms dancing in cars. But it pales in comparison to Walter Mercado’s handskills. He spreads magic and good vibes with a wave of those perfectly manicured nails. His hands smell like hand sanitizer and the laughter of babies. Smell them.

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4. Bey and Walter can flawlessly rock a hat, but let’s be honest: ANYTHING and EVERYTHING is possible with these two.

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Like Beyoncé, Walter Mercado knows how to wear the everloving hell out of a jaunty chapeau. Serve it, Walter. We hunger for more.

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5. They can rock a suit better than any one, male or female.

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Beyoncé can rock menswear, of course, but Walter Mercado looks like he emerged fully formed from Zeus’ head wearing a sequined tuxedo.

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6. When it comes to a King and Queen like these two, crowns and roses are the only way to properly accessorize.

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Beyoncé has been known to pair her outfits with everything from priceless jewels to even more priceless jewels, just like Walter Mercado does. That pinky ring is worth more than your entire life, and it still only barely deserves to touch his alabaster skin.

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7. Beyonce and Walt will sass you to death with their real-life emojis.

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Beyoncé knows the power of a single arched brow or a well-executed sneer, as does Walter Mercado. He serves beauty face for breakfast, lunch, dinner and two well-balanced snacks.

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8. Beyonce has the “Beyhive,” while Walter has his “Wallabaes.”

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Her fans and stans praise Beyoncé as a modern-day icon, a veritable Beyzus. And Walter Mercado fans are no difference. Our religious affiliation is Walter Mercado.

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9. Their alter-egos, Sasha Fierce and Shanti Ananda, are the ultimate side-eye Jekyll and Hyde.

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Beyoncé introduced us to Sasha Fierce, her (at the time) more fearless, more aggressive stage persona. In 2010, Walter Mercado changed his name to “Shanti Ananda” because he was told to do so by a “being of light.”

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10. They were both born strutting out of the womb.

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Beyoncé’s dancing talent is a well-known fact at this point, but were you aware that Walter Mercado is a trained dancer? He is an accomplished ballet and flamenco performer, dancing like sunlight on glitter.

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11. Beyoncé and Walter don’t just comb their hair, they fan everyone with their glory.

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Beyoncé’s whipped stans into a frenzy when she cut her hair, and Walter Mercado’s fans worship and name each and every single one of his blessèd follicles, because we know that every strand of hair growing out of them is like golden cotton candy cascading into a sunkissed mullet of pure beauty.

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12. Vogueing and posing come easy to these two intergalactic space dieties.

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We all know Beyoncé can pose up a storm, but Walter Mercado’s moves are unparalleled. He’s having a vogue-off against beauty itself, and he is winning.

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13. Forget the sun. Forget it now. Bey and Walter are the only sources of LIGHT and LIFE you will ever need.

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Beyoncé has a glow about her, definitely. But Walter Mercado shines with an inner light that can be utterly blinding to the most basic among us. Proceed with caution.

Thank you for sharing your gift with all of us, Walter. That is, in itself, the greatest gift of all.

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