1. The Initial Call: You find yourself spiraling into utter confusion.
2. Checking the Number: You feel moderate to extreme annoyance, as you stop in the middle of your Candy Crush game to see who is calling.
3. The Realization: You feel a cold shiver work its way down your spine. They. Left. A. VOICEMAIL.
4. The Void: You feel panic. Do I have to... do I have to listen to this? The whole thing? And then...
...Oh GOD. OH NO. DO I HAVE TO CALL BACK?
5. The Deterioration of Time and Space as They Slide Against the Walls of Reality Like Pasta on a Refrigerator Door: You feel shame.
6. Becoming One With the Void: You feel numb, watching your own body from a distance.
7. The Voicemail Notification Icon: You feel fear, the breadth and width and depth of which you have never felt before.
It stares at you. It is all-seeing and all-knowing. It feeds on your pain and delights in your fear.
8. Checking the Voicemail: You feel a deep, sharp anxiety.
9. Processing the Voicemail: You feel drained.
10. Flailing Against the Walls of an Unjust World: You feel an intense frustration over the thought of having to call back.
11. Thinking About Calling Back: You feel trapped as you make up excuses not to call.
12. Never Calling Back: You live in a state of precarious bliss.
13. The Sequel: They call back. And you complete your spiral into madness.
#BanVoicemail
