19 Words That Need To Be Banned Immediately

These words are disgusting and wrong. #BANTHESEWORDS

We need to talk about words.

Disney / Via

Sericious, voluptuous, velvety words versus unctuous, lubricious, oleaginous words versus words we want to bury in the deepest part of the ocean, where fish have feet where their eyes should be and everything is woven from nightmares and garbage and smells like a Panera bathroom right before closing time.

So, please, don’t even think about saying…

1. Lover

Fox / Via

To quote Liz Lemon, wordsmith and garbage food enthusiast, “Oh, that word bums me out unless it’s in between the words ‘meat’ and ‘pizza.’”

And like that pizza, this word is greasy and has a crust forming on its outer edges.

2. Robust

TLC / Via

This word has a white film forming on its tongue.

3. Nip

This word is winking at you while licking its lips.

4. Ripen

Roc-A-Fella Records / Via

You accidentally brushed up against this word, and its fingers felt like a wet paper bag full of raw clams.

5. Pulsate

There is a soft hissing sound emanating from this word, but you can’t tell from where or why.

6. Noob

Fox / Via

This word has a growth next to its nose, and it moves when it talks.

(Also, if you’re using this word earnestly, you will embarrass yourself. There is no way not to.)

7. Titillate

NBC / Via

This word is close-talker that has spittle forming at the corners of its mouth.

8. Swaggy

Logo / Via

This word is chair dancing to a Pitbull song and doesn’t notice it has toilet paper stuck to its shoe. Wet toilet paper.

9. Copulate

This word took a gamble and lost and now has to find the nearest Forever 21 for a change of pants.

10. Moist

Faulhaber Media / Via

This word has a giant yellowy-green stain on its blouse. And its spreading.

11. Penalize

This word is twirling a lock of your hair around a single long, dirty finger nail.

12. Nub

This word is dipping a toe into your mouth.

13. Sensuality

E! / Via

This word has one long nose hair brushing against your cheek.

14. Nom Nom

Warner Bros. Pictures / Via

This word just picked something out of its ear and is rolling it on a table while smiling at you.

15. Panties

NBC / Via

This word sniffs your things when you leave the room.

16. Baby (to someone who is not, in fact, a baby)

This word has a thick toe nail that’s turning various types of beige.

17. Mommy (to someone who is not, in fact, your mother)

This word thinks you look beautiful while you’re sleeping.

18. Listicle

FX / Via

This word wishes it could collect your toenail clippings.

19. Awesomesauce

Paramount Pictures / Via

Stop talking. Forever.

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