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22 Struggles Pale People Have During Summer

Wake me up when autumn arrives.

1. Feeling unbearably sticky for months on end because you are swimming in sunblock.

2. Having to carry your sunblock around with you to reapply it 162 times a day.

3. Missing just ONE SPOT while applying sunblock and paying for it later.

4. If you're able to tan, you might end up at least two colors (very white and less very white).

5. ...or NOT being able to tan, and immediately going from "pale" to "BURNT."

6. Immediately scanning outdoor areas for the nearest tree or beach umbrella, lest you go up in flames.

7. Using self-tanner to get a "summer glow" and quickly realizing you've made a terrible mistake.

8. Sweltering under long sleeves and pants in order to "enjoy" the sun.

9. Which, of course, also means finding the largest hat possible to block out the summer sun.

10. Having to find the highest SPF possible before engaging in any summer activity.

11. Not needing to bother with perfume or cologne, because you signature summer scent is "ALL OF THE SUNSCREEN."

12. Dealing with people who say "Just get some sun!" when you LITERALLY. CANNOT. TAN.

13. Annoying your friends by asking them to help you re-apply your sunscreen.

14. Going to a summer pool party...and staying away from the pool, the sun, and the party.

15. Creating elaborate beach forts using every available towel and blanket.

16. Going outside and immediately wondering whether the sun is currently searing your scalp through your hair.

17. Knowing that your best friend this summer is a giant parasol.

18. Dealing with the pain of every piece of asphalt and grain of sand acting like a giant EVIL SUNRAY REFLECTOR.

19. And knowing that even a cloudy summer day means death, because the sun will REFLECT OFF THE CLOUDS AND ONTO YOUR FLESH.

20. Knowing that you're not even safe from sunburns in a car on your summer road trip.

21. Insisting that you ARE tan because your skin has turned one-quarter of a shade darker than it was in winter.

22. Seriously thinking about investing in a full-face visor.