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    29 Reasons Why You Should Never Visit Florida

    Ew.

    1. It ALWAYS rains.

    2. The entire state is completely DEVOID of culture.

    3. There's nothing really unique or interesting to see there.

    4. Florida has basically no tradition at all.

    Members of the Miccosukee tribe perform a dance.

    5. Nope, no sense of identity to be found anywhere in Florida.

    6. No sir, there's nothing to see or do in the whole state.

    7. There's no real sense of history.

    8. Because nothing happened in Florida before, like, 1987.

    9. The wildlife there consists of mosquitos and slightly larger mosquitos.

    10. ... Or terrible swamp beasts.

    11. Nope, nothing worth preserving in Florida.

    12. UGH, IT'S SO GROSS.

    13. YUCK.

    14. EW.

    15. It's all just strip malls and tacky gift shops.

    16. If you're not a beach person, there's absolutely NOTHING to do there.

    17. I'm telling you, if you're looking for art and culture, look elsewhere.

    18. And Miami? Forget it. If you're not into clubs, there's nothing for you there.

    19. Floridians definitely don't have a sense of humor about themselves.

    20. "Florida luxury" is an oxymoron.

    21. Seriously, Florida has nothing to offer you if you're looking for anything remotely elegant.

    22. BARF.

    23. How many palm trees can a person stand to look at?

    24. Florida is basically all just cheesy beaches full of tourist traps.

    25. It's not like anyone cares about surfing.

    26. No one interesting ever spent time in Florida. Why would they?

    27. Nope. No one at all.

    28. And if you're looking for family activities, you'd better look literally anywhere else.

    29. Nope. Nothing to see here at all.