1.Being overwhelmed by the smells and sounds of a trendy store and wondering if it's because you're old / uncool / old and uncool.
2.Feeling awkward because everyone who works at this store looks like a model.
3.Discovering that, no matter what size you are, yours will be the only one not on the rack.
4.Reaching for the same article of clothing as someone else and pretending that you weren't.
5.Picking something out and then trying to fold it back and realizing you can't master this wizard-level level of folding.
6.Telling a salesperson you're just browsing and then running into her seven thousand more times.
7.Actually needing the salesperson and then not finding her anywhere, being forced to linger awkwardly.
8.After twenty minutes of standing around looking for help, eventually trying to grab something off a high shelf and sending several things falling to the ground.
9.Regretting everything you've ever liked as you wait in line for the dressing room, but being too ashamed to put it all back.
10.Watching other people in line quietly judging your clothing choices.
11.Fighting an unwinnable war against dressing room curtains.
12.Finding a stain on something you're trying on and wondering whether you should tell the dressing room attendant that it wasn't you.
13.Discovering that nothing you've tried on fits but not wanting to admit it.
14.Finally getting to the register and needing a price check.
15.Realizing right after you've purchased something that you already have it at home.
16.Admitting defeat and officially swearing off all shopping that's not online.
