1. Chances are, you grew up eating the most unappetizing food ever.
2. Like "old clothes"? BARF.
3. Or "fried cow"? Ugh. Cannot.
4. And, like, everyone knows Cubans do NOT know how to make a proper sandwich. Look at this grossness:
5. It's not like tender pork and sweet ham and melty, gooey cheese make the perfect combination or anything.
6. And don't even get me started on the bread. OVERRATED.
7. The desserts? Meh.
8. Nothing exciting about a warm, flaky pastelito, fresh from the oven, brimming with sweet, sweet guayaba.
9. The snacks? Whatever. Why are Cubans so obsessed with bakeries anyway?
10. Why would you have one tiny little thing of Cuban coffee when you could drink gallons of, you know. Bean water.
11. And the drinks? BYE.
12. And every meal is a whole ORDEAL of TALKING and JOKING and SHARING. Who has the time?
13. Because it's not like Cubans have a (dirty) sense of humor or anything.
14. ESPECIALLY not about ourselves.
15. ...AT ALL.
16. But it doesn't matter anyway, because Cuban families typically aren't close at all.
17. And it's not like our families don't try to instill good values (even if they sometimes GO OVERBOARD).
18. It's not like there's a special history binding Cubans together.
19. Or references that we all get, no matter where in the country we grew up.
20. Cuban music? Not good.
