1. When someone who you know is always attached to their phone doesn’t answer your call.
But they just answered your text.
2. When your skinny friend complains that weight loss programs aren’t working for her.
Uh duh, you’re 90 pounds soaking wet.
4. When someone doesn’t get your movie references.
What do you mean you haven’t seen Mrs. Doubtfire?
5. When your friend simply cannot go out because she’ll be celebrating the 23rd month anniversary of the first time her and her boyfriend both wore plaid on the same day by accident.
Excuse me for forgetting.
7. When your skinny friend from #2 “doesn’t want” fries with her meal but then proceeds to eat all of yours.
Get your own, bitch.
8. When the person next to you on a packed mode of public transportation is on the phone yapping about how her friend and that guy from last night “were just so gross”.
Were they? Were they gross?
9. When your mom calls ten seconds after you’ve just hung up with her.
You knew she would, but the fact that she actually did is just so ugh.
10. When you spend ten minutes carefully crafting a group text including the answers to all possible response questions, and someone still just does. not. get. it.
Keep up, people!
11. Any time Justin Bieber opens his mouth.
You could have had it all, kid.
12. When someone oblivious to literature doesn’t understand how a book without pictures could possibly be better than the movie version.
God help us all.
13. When someone has a spelling error in their tattoo.
You didn’t think spell check was important in this particular instance?
14. When you tell someone that you haven’t seen a movie yet, but they proceed to outline every plot point in great detail, sparing you only the very last few minutes (if you’re lucky).
15. When the barista at Starbucks spells your name wrong.
I said my name is Lauren - where in that name do you hear the “g” you wrote on my cup?
16. Any time MTV makes a new reality show.
Besides The Challenge. You gotta love The Challenge.
17. When half of your preset radio stations are playing the same song.
Even top 40 stations should have at least 40 songs to choose from. Why do I hear the same three?
18. When someone is taking a shameless selfie in a public restroom.
19. When Taylor Swift is rumored to be in a new relationship.
Hopefully it’ll be someone interesting enough to warrant the inevitable song.
20. When autocorrect changes the correctly spelled word you want to use into a completely different word.
If I wanted to type “I live you”, I would have done it myself.
21. Anytime somebody says, “don’t roll your eyes at me!”
Fine print: eye rolling is continuously necessary in an infinite number of ways. Roll on.