The Mumsnet Thread On Marital Rows Will Destroy Your Faith In The Sanctity Of Marriage

Reasons for arguing include THE NINE TIMES TABLE.

1. No doubt about it. This is a strong start to a thread.

This is a person’s life now: being accused of “engineering” time on the toilet due to his cereal choice.

2. Responses started vaguely reasonable:

“Leaving a greasy dish ‘in soak’ for the foreseeable future sets me off.”

3. But pretty soon we had this: “We once had a huge row about curtain ties. It got quite nasty - he called me ‘stupid’ and I called him ‘a big fat ugly pig’.”

“We never did put those ties up.”

4. Then: “[We] had an argument over the existence of manatees. He doesn’t believe in them apparently”

5. “We had an argument about why ducks cross the road when their pond is on the other side.”

6. Other reasons included an attempt to assemble a trampoline which lead to the poster’s partner moving out for two days.

7. The NINE TIMES TABLE.

Thinkstock / Alan White / BuzzFeed / math-help-multiplication-tables.com

8. THE SURFACE AREA TO VOLUME RATIO OF BIG PENGUINS VS SMALL PENGUINS.

9. And still they kept coming.

10. More:


Whether or not buffalo mozarella actually comes from buffaloes.

The sewerage system.

Wall lights.

The future of the eurozone.

England’s football team.

Rearranging the dishwasher after it’s been loaded.

A plastic moustache.

Tomatoes (cherry vs normal).

Who chose to watch Panic Room.

The correct way to paint a door.

11. It went on, and on, and on. Still, at least they didn’t end up in divorce. Oh:


Ex-husband/—cock of epic proportions— cited as an example of MY unreasonable behaviour in the divorce petition (this being the ex-husband who was a serial adulterer) that I stormed off at a James Blunt concert because I didn’t agree with the queue he’d chosen. No, I didn’t agree, because he was in the one for picking up tickets and WE ALREADY HAD OURS. But the intransigent bugger wouldn’t listen.

Even my lawyer laughed.

12. OH.


Ex-husband and I once rowed about who would have custody of the child we didn’t have, if we got the divorce that we weren’t planning. Then anyhoo. The divorce came later…

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