1.
Patricia thinks love was invented by Hallmark to sell cards.
2.
Margie is skeptical that she'll ever find The One.
3.
Cameron thinks everyone should remember that Feb. 14 is just a day.
4.
Colleen is worried about her biological clock.
5.
Francis can trust only his stuffed dog.
6.
Mindy still can't shake the memories of last Valentine's Day.
7.
Carl thinks women are demons.
8.
On the outside, Jane and Sam seem like the perfect couple.
9.
Svetlana can't take another minute of her so-called friends flashing their engagement rings.
10.
Cory would just as soon sleep through the whole day.
11.
Lauren knows that going out to eat will be such a pain in the ass.
12.
This is what you did to Jordan's heart. THIS.
13.
Tucker lost track of which girls he sent chocolates to and now none of them will answer his Snapchats.
14.
It just occurred to Sasha that maybe Jimmy was her last chance.
15.
George is sick and tired of the friendzone.
16.
Angelina knows it's not healthy to Facebook-stalk her ex, but after one too many Taylor Swift songs she just can't help it.
17.
If things don't turn around soon, Benji is totally canceling his eHarmony membership.
