3. Your neighbor is not this hot.
And no power outage will ever be this perfectly timed.
5. …especially once you make this (objectively ridiculous) declaration.
In the immortal words of David Rakoff (whose brilliant piece inspired this and which you should listen to immediately because there is nothing like his voice), “My only question is, well, why aren’t you going to pay this year’s rent? It seems that they’re not going to pay this year’s rent because rent is for losers and non-creative types. Rent is for suits.” Fair.
14. Nor this.
17. No group of friends could have this much romantic dramz and still totally love each other.
- Bernie Sanders and Donald Trump have won the New Hampshire primaries for the Democratic and Republican nominations 🇺🇸
- The Supreme Court put on hold President Obama's climate change plan, which aims to curb carbon dioxide emissions from power plants.
- And thank the Force: Disney's profits hit an all-time high of $2.9 billion after the latest *Star Wars* film release ✨💰