3. Your neighbor is not this hot.
And no power outage will ever be this perfectly timed.
5. …especially once you make this (objectively ridiculous) declaration.
In the immortal words of David Rakoff (whose brilliant piece inspired this and which you should listen to immediately because there is nothing like his voice), “My only question is, well, why aren’t you going to pay this year’s rent? It seems that they’re not going to pay this year’s rent because rent is for losers and non-creative types. Rent is for suits.” Fair.
14. Nor this.
17. No group of friends could have this much romantic dramz and still totally love each other.
- Justice Antonin Scalia, who served almost 30 years on the Supreme Court as one of its most prominent and influential conservative voices, died Saturday. He was 79.
- U.S. Republican presidential candidates debated for the first time since Donald Trump's win in New Hampshire, and it got intense.
- Bitterly cold temperatures and arctic winds began freezing large swathes of the U.S. Northeast ❄️