1. Make it harder to hit snooze.
By the time you’ve dragged your body from point A to point B, chances are you’ll feel much more awake.
2. Walk Me Up is an app that forces you to take a certain number of steps before the alarm will shut off.
3. Have morning sex.
Not only will it burn calories and unleash a heaping dose of oxytocin, you’ll feel totally smug for the rest of the day.
4. A silent, vibrating alarm keeps you from waking up your partner.
So they’ll want to have the aforementioned morning sex with you instead of smothering you with a pillow. Find it here.
7. Rise ‘n’ shine with your natural rhythms.
This gentle little device tracks your body’s circadian rhythms and wakes you up at the ~perfect~ moment using light and sound.
8. If you’re especially handy, you can build a sunshine simulator yourself.
But for the love of Bob, BE CAREFUL.
9. If you own a coffee maker with a preset option, have it start brewing a few minutes before you’re supposed to wake up.
The smell and the promise of caffeine-y goodness will coax you out of bed, as well as eliminate one little task.
10. Hungover? Not anymore.
Blowfish claims to “address multiple hangover symptoms at once — headache, upset stomach, and fatigue.” Can’t be worse than sitting in the shower while your head throbs.
12. Use a tracking site or app to sync your sleep cycles.
13. Drink a glass of water right after you wake up.
It’ll speed your metabolism and help rehydrate you after a long night of NO LIQUIDS AT ALL.
(And this is ~not~ scientific but if you try to go back to sleep after that, chances are you’ll have to pee and be forced out of bed anyway.)
14. Label your hangers for mindless dressing every day of the week.
Bonus if you make all five outfits over the weekend, but the night before works too.
15. Leave important reminders on your bag or keys.
Or anything that you can’t possibly leave the house without.
16. Or if you’re EXTRA forgetful, put your keys or purse on the thing you want to remember.
The drawback here is that you might forget your lunch as well as the sole way to access your house/car. Live on the edge.
17. Pepper your alarms with sweet little reminders.
19. Let your utensils do the talking.
Although if you’re attempting to drink a full mug of unground coffee beans, you might need more z’s.
20. Have a baby.
This is not so much a trick as a side effect; bringing a squalling poop factory into your life is a surefire way to never (be able to) laze around in bed again.