1. This Harry Potter wrapping paper.
Any Harry Potter fan would be delighted to receive a gift wrapped in the corpse of their childhood.
2. This pumpkin.
Pro: no gloopy pumpkin seed mess! Con: the barely-audible ghost shrieks of forsaken words.
3. This planter.
At least one book’s death means one pampered little succulent’s life.
4. This holiday wreath.
The most heartwarming part of Christmas is when the whole family gathers around the torn-up pages of a story they once enjoyed together.
5. This candle holder.
Peanut butter and jelly, Antony and Cleopatra, books and fire.
7. These envelope liners.
Because if there’s one thing all mail needs, it’s more paper.
9. This wallpaper.
All Frances Hodgson Burnett wanted for her classic novels was for a model to lean seductively against their ripped-up pages in a photo on the internet.
11. This hollowed-out keepsake.
Accurate, because it feels like you’re carving out my heart when I look at this.
12. This piece of Art.
Unless thine own self thinks it’s okay to desecrate SHAKESPEARE.
13. These book clutches.
If only Holden Caulfield knew that a girl in a black lace puff-sleeved dress was hauling his innermost thoughts (for a mere $1,520) around the Meatpacking District.
14. This classic celeb-perpetrated atrocity.
In the immortal words of Cates, “This is the perfect idea for someone who likes to pretend that they read.”