1. Sexual trends come and go. Are you up to date on what’s popular?
We used Google Trends to find out what’s in and what out. None of this was scientific.
Scissoring burst onto the scene in early 2007, and it’s been a hot commodity ever since. It doesn’t look like there’s any end in sight for scissoring, so hop on board the scissor train immediately! This one’s a good bet.
3. “Eating Ass”
Eating Ass has had a loyal following for years, and 2013 was officially the Year of the Rimjob. The good news is that 2014 is also the Year of the Rimjob. Now’s as good as any a time to invest.
4. “Cake Farts”
Cake farts (the act of farting on a cake) exploded into the public consciousness in 2008, and it’s been a little all over the place since. There’s no telling where the cake farting trend will go, but you’ve got at least a couple months before any drastic changes occur. Cake farts are a toss-up.
5. “Supermanning Hoes”
Everyone was supermanning hoes in 2008, but today it’s a lost art. Supermanning is solely for hipsters now, but don’t try to get in on the action. As soon as trends rise, true supermanning enthusiasts will jump ship, and stocks will plummet once again. Avoid.
6. “Doggie Style”
Obviously the time to do it from behind was Christmas, 2008. Other than that, doggie style has been sort of passe the last few years, but at least the trend is steady. Invest if you want, but watch the trend carefully.
7. “Anal Fisting”
Now is not the time to invest in anal fisting. Anal fisting is out.
8. “Vaginal Fisting”
Now this is curious. Vaginal fisting appears to be a bit more up in the air. Late 2012 saw a rise in the act, and while it’s at a low point, there’s no telling where it might go. If you’re feeling adventurous, invest in vaginal fisting now and see what happens. It might pay off! High returns are a possibility.
The fourgy, (or four person orgy) has sadly never truly taken off. That doesn’t mean you shouldn’t devote a portion of your resources to fourgies, just make sure you diversify your portfolio across more traditional threesomes and orgies. Not ideal for your sole investment.
10. “Joining The Mile High Club”
After a rocky start, airplane sex has been on a very gradual rise since late 2006. Perfect to invest in for long term results.
The popularity of the bukkake, not unlike Paris Hilton, was a strong presence a decade ago, but time’s have changed. Today, the public seems rather blasé about the old fashioned bukkake, and it doesn’t appear as if that sentiment will change. Not a wise investment.
12. “Masquerade Orgies”
As quickly as they came, so vanished the masquerade orgy. The beginning of 2014 saw a brief interest, but it appears people have dumped their stock. Avoid this one altogether.
Ladies and gentlemen, the classic deepthroat has been making a comeback. The sky’s the limit here, and industry experts don’t see the trend slowing down for the foreseeable future. Invest immediately.
Pegging is hot, HOT, HOT!!! It may seem that pegging is about to plateau, but insiders say otherwise. You can expect years and years of fruitful returns from pegging, so invest now and invest often.
15. “The Cleveland Steamer”
Thankfully, mercifully, the value of the Cleveland Steamer has been rock bottom since 2006. There’s no chance of this one making a comeback. Put your resources into something else for the time being.
16. “The Blumpkin”
Interestingly enough, interest in blumpkins has been steady for nearly a decade. If Cleveland Steamers are your thing but you lament their unpopularity, blumpkins are an ideal choice.
Agalmatophilia, or sexual attraction to mannequins, is too new a concept to offer solid details on. There’s a chance this one could take off, but it could disappear from the landscape like anal fisting and supermanning hoes. Proceed with caution.
18. “Brazilian Fart Porn”
Brazilian fart porn started strong, fell hard immediately, and whatever remaining fans have been trailing off ever since. There’s a chance brazilian fart porn might make a comeback, but there’s no telling when or in what capacity. Don’t gamble on this one.