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1. No pants = Win.
2. If I'm going to be fat & cranky, it should be because I ate too much delicious food.
3. I seriously don't want to know about potty training, thanks.
4. When people try to make me feel bad about not having children...
5. I start planning vacations!
6. *sigh* No math, please.
7. STFU.
8. Your baby looks like... you don't wanna know.
9. Spoiled, entitled brats are the worst.
10. Yay, Freedom!
11. Condoms are cheaper than minivans, just sayin'.
12. And Christmas is SO much cheaper without kids!
13. Some of us are just better with other adults.
14. Does your fb even have any pictures of you?!
15. Sometimes I do want one. Really, really bad.
16. And then I remember... sweet, sweet silence.
17. At least there's that.
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