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Hi World. Stop Giving Us Love Advice.

Want to charm the pants off of someone? There's an article for that!

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No, seriously – stop. Stop reading the “20 Things You Need To Let Go To Be Happy”, or “11 Reasons Why A Single Girl’s Life Is The Happiest Life” and my personal favorite “Why Men Aren't Really Men Anymore”…NEWS FLASH, unless Lorena Bobbitt stormed the earth whacking off every man’s wiener; men are still men. I know, I know- shocking.

We see it at every log in; a slew of folks over sharing some sort of list of how we should live our lives. Usually, these “articles” are merely a map guiding us ‘self-entitled, delusional, self-centered 20 something’s’ through our wildly ambitious personal dreams whilst living on clouds of cupcakes; with perfect beautiful boyfriends, as we travel to explore the “27 Most Amazing Places To See Before You Die A Horrible And Tragic Death”

I don’t know about you, but I find these mildly entertaining as well as completely insulting.

Look- I get it. We all want to love and be loved, but are we becoming a generation so disconnected from actual human relationships that we need to find solace in the form of words written by people we don’t even know? We’d rather read things we already know to be true just to confirm that yes – we are doing this dating thing right. And by ‘right’ I mean, navigating through your dating life in a way that-

A) Keeps you both alive, and

B) Somehow allows you to continuously eat really good food together.

Because there is nothing sexier than stuffing your face with nachos while looking into the eyes of the one you love.

The problem is; there’s no mystery anymore. We are literally over-saturated with advice about who, how, and when to date before we even step foot outside the door to actually go. Now instead of our own minds second-guessing our decisions, we have a whole community of writers who have instilled in us even more fear about something that really should be one of the best part about being a human.

You just have to forge through in your own way and pray that you don’t end up with a serial killer.

My advice? Simple- get up and go figure it out by yourself. Date a butcher, hell; date a baker and a candlestick maker. Follow all the rules, or don’t follow any. Get your heart broken, break some hearts, say that you don’t believe in love, and then find someone who makes you believe in the world. Let your heart guide you, let your head guide you. Be logical, be impossible, care a lot, care too little, tell all your inhibitions to go screw themselves-

and just go for it. Be not afraid.

So learn this from me, these articles are not the voice of our generation: it is where people who live their very own lifestyles, can be told by someone drinking $6 grocery store wine behind a computer, that what we’re doing with our lives is either wrong or right. When did we reach the pinnacle where someone points their proverbial finger in your face to tell you what you should really want out of life… and when did we get to the point where we actually listened?

The best part of your life, is that it is yours. And that life should be controlled by your hands and heart, not by what constitutes as “The Perfect New Year’s Kiss” or “Why Men Like Stoner Chicks”.

The reason why your love life isn’t kicking is not because “Men Should Be More Chivalrous” or because “Watching Porn Raised His Expectations”; and please don’t give a second thought to “How A Girl Can Find Love When Her Life Is All Sex And No Brunch”.

First of all, you lost me at no brunch.

If you’re going to better your life by sharing articles preaching to the sea of 20-30 something’s… keep in mind that we have presumably come to the realization that life does indeed have its ups and downs. Some days are going to really suck, and life will punch you in the groin and knock you down, but it will not fall apart if you don’t get that perfect kiss from that perfect guy on that perfect date, where he surprises you with that glittery perfect purple unicorn you always wanted. If you want to be the voice of a generation in trouble, just order us pizza or something.

Finding love and money and all the riches in the world should never ever be the sole priority of your existence. The only relationship that is most profound and truly crucial in your life is the relationship with yourself. Of all the people you will know in a lifetime, you are the only one you will never lose.

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