6 Tips to Achieving That A-List Status You So Desperately Desire

So you want to play the Fame Game? Time to take a page from some of your fav celebs and become the Hollywood superstar you know you already are.

1. Be Pretty

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Pretty people just seem to have it all, don’t they? Everyone likes to look at pretty people and if you turn on the TV you’ll be hard pressed to find an ugly actor, reality star, or even news anchor. The only chance ugly people get is on the History Channel or if you’re one of those talking heads on MSNBC or FoxNews, and lets be real no one watches those. So unless you’re a perfect 10 better call it quits on this dream–unless you have a plastic surgeon on speed dial.

2. Get a Reality Show and Act a Damn Fool

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So once you’ve bought a new face and sucked out all the fat its time to get to work and land your own reality show and these days anyone can get one. All they have to do is sell their soul, get plastered and puke on camera. Anything, anytime, just ask Snooki.

3. Be a Hot Mess (or Just Plain Crazy)

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The public loves a meltdown so make like Amanda Bynes and go cuckoo for cocoa puffs! Before her bizzarro breakdown Amanda Bynes was just a former child star and sometimes actress only occasionally popping up on sites like Perezhilton.com. Then she started wearing crazy wigs and tweeting about Drake murdering her pussy and suddenly she dominated headlines. Everyone was talking about her! Imagine all that publicity, you just have to go a little insane. No biggie.

4. Go to Jail and/or Rehab

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Now that the crazy’s getting a little old and the drugs are starting to be a real problem (aka the press found out) it might be time to start thinking about some career rehab and go to real rehab. Besides, being famous is so demanding these days a month long spa vacay sounds totes fab, doesn’t it? And if rehab isn’t your thing you can totally pull a Lindsay or Paris and get about 7 DWIs and then just keep breaking the law no matter how many chances the judge gives you. Jail isn’t so bad either. No paparazzi!

5. Sex Tape (or at least some naked #selfies)

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Then there’s the crème de la crème of easy fame! Yes, the infamous sex tape that catapults you to the tip of everyone’s tongues. These days who hasn’t had a scandal involving their genitals ending up splashed all over the interweb. The scorn of every starlet (who totally isn’t making it just so she can leak it) the sex tape, or slightly milder naked selfie, will guarantee you tomorrow’s front page! And you can even claim you were hacked and those pictures or videos were stolen–when you appear on every talk show espousing your deep shame and humiliation.

6. Talent

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If all else fails there’s always this thing called talent that might help. Maybe you can sing or act and you’re actually quite good at it! Sure you can work hard and put those skills to good use while maintaining your hard earned dignity but its just so much easier not to. Better off being a talentless hack who will do anything for the spotlight since it is all about the spectacle these days.