It was over 100 degrees on the Gulfian desert island where I lived and a day of errands lay before me: driving test at 11, return textbooks to school at 12 and pick up some guitar strings on the way back. It seemed natural to me to slide on a loose grey cotton t-shirt and some functional knee shorts with some sandals. I looked more like a Dad en route to a barbecue than an 18-year-old girl.
I arrive at the driving centre and find that the main waiting room is for men. A closed door to the left reads 'women's waiting room'. I walk into a room of women in abayas and hijabs. The room is small and oddly shaped, with jutting angles, giving the general impression that it was an architect's afterthought, plonked down haphazardly on the sandy lot.
I note that only female instructors are allowed to test the women. After half an hour, I'm called out of the room by a small woman in a long sleeved blue uniform with long trousers and a light hijab. She frowns at me and points me into a man's office. He eyes my shorts and, in Arabic, mutters to the instructor about my legs showing. The woman tells me to go into a different room, in which a few officers and a female superintendent sits. She wears the same uniform as the woman who brought me there. Several pairs of eyes follow my legs as if they're magnetic.
"You can't wear those" the superintendent informs me.
"What?" I ask.
They discuss in Arabic the inappropriateness of my shorts. They think I don't understand the language.
"Your knees. It's illegal for them to show when you take the test" says the superintendent.
I look around in disbelief to an unforgiving audience.
"What do my knees have to do with driving?" I ask, dumbfounded.
"If you can cover your legs, come back in two hours and take the test." She tells me.
I contemplate waiting to take my test in the US but I choose to comply. I arrange to get an abaya and thankfully put it on, trying not to melt in the heat of the waiting room while I sit for two hours until the appointment.
I am very proud to be an Arab woman, but it can be tiring to live in a country in which the female body is not only a cultural obsession but a shared fear. While living in the Middle East has been an largely positive experience, moments like this tarnish the experience. It's hard to live in a place with such a deeply rooted stigma about female sexuality. In my case, an outfit which was reasonably functional and respectful should have been acceptable attire on a hot summer day in the desert.
The Arab world, particularly the Gulf is a region of complexity and contradictions. Living in the Gulf, I have had to dress to suit other people's tastes and endure constant staring and even being followed in public places despite my dress. While birth control can be bought over the counter in Bahrain, my knee shorts were deemed 'illegal'. I don't intend to feed into Islamophobia. My experience being raised by and around Muslims and Arabs has made it abundantly clear to me that Middle Eastern culture is endlessly generous and loyal, but a deep cultural backwardness pervades Middle Eastern societies. Many of the half-hearted attempts made to 'protect' women are only oppressive.
Although this seems like a very minor injustice, and in many ways it was, this interaction was underpinned the current of deeper cultural attitudes towards women. The female body used as a representation of a country's moral standards worldwide, whether the country is Western or Eastern. No one should be shamed or chastised for wearing what they choose, whatever that may be. I don't necessarily believe that Arab countries should be held to Western standards but I strongly believe that perpetuating a cultural fear of women and hiding women beneath veils is not just nor is it practical. As a woman, I want the right to dress in a manner that is firstly functional and secondly… whatever the hell I choose. Whether I want to dress in a way that is sexy or conservative, I am an adult and should have the right to dress myself. Every person should have the right to present themselves in their own way and according to their own beliefs.
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