21 Signs You’re A True Betch

So you agree, you think you’re really betchy?

1. You regularly declare your undying love for hummus.

2. You can’t help but have a bored, rude resting face.

3. You can’t handle the thought of not having your daily iced coffee.

4. You’re convinced you have the wit of Kristen Wiig.

5. You choke down inedible green tar because you “really need to cleanse.”

6. You get anxious at the though of drinking Dasani.

Wait so.. you don’t sell Voss here? What about Fred?

7. You drive like a maniac.

If your parents didn’t notice the scratch, it never happened… right?

8. You wept tears of joy when you tried Chobani for the first time.

9. You comment “fomo” on the picture of your friends hanging out without you, but you actually mean…

10. You have ambiguous feelings about people 99% of the time.

11. You believe napping is the solution to all of your problems.

12. You’re terrified that the picture you uploaded won’t have double-digit likes.

13. You can’t handle someone misquoting Mean Girls.

14. You have that token friend who’s always late.

15. You post pictures like this, with the caption “I have the best big ever!!!!”

16. You memorize your credit card number to optimize your online shopping experience.

17. You don’t listen to people who tell you to stop watching bad shows like The Bachelor.

And leave Des alone in her quest for love? I don’t think so…

18. You feel like this before every spin, pilates, hot yoga or soul cycle class.

19. You can go from 0-7 double chins before anyone can even say “snap chat.”

20. You have a haven where you get to eat carbs (for once) and piece your night back together

21. You believe this wholeheartedly:

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