This Menu Is An Absolute Goldmine For Hilarious Chinese Translations

When Google Translate goes wrong. Oh, so wrong...

Ordering food from a restaurant in China is a minefield of extraordinarily strange menu options. Luckily for the non-Mandarin speakers, the menu can occasionally come with pictures or the names of the dish in English.

But sometimes the Chinese to English translations raise more questions than they answer...

Husband and Wife lung slice

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The 'his and her' delicious slice of lung. Discount for newlyweds.

You can also order the secret black pork. Who knows what mysteries this dark plate of pig contains!

A Biscuit Firing Goose

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You can imagine the scene, you are having romantic dinner with your fiancé, gazing into each other's eyes, tucking into your delicious lung slice. Suddenly, you are struck in the head by the table next-door's biscuit firing goose.

I wonder if the goose's weapon of choice is more of a 'Malted Milk Machine Gun' Or a 'Rich Tea Rocket Launcher'

Keeping in Good Health Mushroom Soup

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Well it's nice to know the mushroom had a good life, I guess

Hangzhou Three Fresh

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Umm, three fresh what exactly??

Black Fungus

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I'll take the black fungus with a side order of mould, thank you

Love Small Cock

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Hey menu-writer, you should probably keep your sexual preferences to yourself!

Oil-residue Spinach

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Everyone's favourite type of spinach - oil residue flavour. At least it's in the 'healthy vegetable section so it can't be that bad for you right?

Gross Blood Mong

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I don't know what a Blood Mong is, but it doesn't sound like something I want to put anywhere near my mouth. Oh wait it's a gross Blood Mong. Yeah, this description is not really selling this dish to me...

But look! You can get an appetising pot of fat for the same price!

New Bread Temptation

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They say the smell of fresh bread can sell a house. Gluten-free dieters will need extra willpower to avoid this dish.

Do you want to eat my tofu?

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When you notice the three thumbs up and it being in the hot dishes section, this seemingly innocuous question seems to be trying to insinuate something.

It's almost as if the waiter will give you a knowing wink if you try to order this dish.