7 Things We Learned Watching Scott Angelus On Live TV

TGFi CIO, author and "Prince of Wall Street" Scott Angelus appeared on Financial News Channel's Power Breakfast this morning with fill-in host James Locke, for what he probably expected to be a fluffy segment hocking his new book, Trading Up. Instead, the world was treated to a 10-minute live interview train wreck birthed from a Shonda Rhimes fever dream. We've picked our 7 favorite moments for you but we recommend watching the full interview here. This is a fictional, promotional post for the short film SPiN starring Hartley Sawyer and Wilson Cleveland.

1. He's a Creepy Flirt

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Angelus and Locke have an awkward history which Prince Scott uses to his square-jawed advantage from the jump.

2. He Hates Kids

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At one point Angelus compares Wall Street risk aversion to children removing a band-aid - But not before calling the children of the world "an historically stupid group of people."

3. He's a SUPER Creepy Flirt

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"You wish I were your daddy." Something you're trying to say, Scott? Aren't you dating a Victoria's Secret model?

4. He Totally Gets America

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When you grow up like Gatsby in the enchanted forrest of Connecticut, you learn a thing or two about what everyday Americans need to survive which, according to Angelus, has something to do with soda.

5. He Was a Fat Kid

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But it's OK because Scotty was a fat kid and his dad gave him a horse-y nickname. His struggle is SO real.

6. He's Not Human

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By his own admission, Scott Angelus is not "most human beings."

7. He Just Doesn't Give a Sh*t

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When sitting in a seat as hot as this, most execs of Angelus' ilk turn on the teflon and lie through their veneers. When you're The Prince of Wall Street, you serve nay, sling a heaping pile of epic one percenter realness.