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19 Things Every Londoner Learns When They Move To Bristol

Pirate fancy dress is now the norm.

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1. Your skinny jeans don't fit like they used to.

blazediken.tumblr.com / Via Wifflegif

Your thighs are now bulging thanks to repeated trips up Park Street.

2. And you still think cabs should be black, not blue.

The Bristol Post / Via bristolpost.co.uk

3. But at least you're completely comfortable with any sort of pirate fancy dress these days.

4. London's drinking trends no longer mean anything to you.

What do you mean, "Fancy an Aperol spritz?" Here, we drink cider. At all times.
Flickr: sass_face / Creative Commons

What do you mean, "Fancy an Aperol spritz?" Here, we drink cider. At all times.

5. You love that your friends think you live here...

6. ...when, in actual fact, these are the only people who live there.

davehamster / Via flickr.com / Creative Commons

7. You get embarrassed when your London friends visit and act a bit "too London".

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When they try to use their Oyster on the bus, for instance.

8. You explain areas of Bristol to your friends by comparing them to areas of London.

"Montpelier? Oh, it's so like Camden, but before the Amy Winehouse effect."
Flickr: jontangerine

"Montpelier? Oh, it's so like Camden, but before the Amy Winehouse effect."

9. You've had to up your foodie game massively since you moved here...

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"I'd rather eat no bread if I can't have Mark's Bread."

10. ...but secretly you're a bit gutted that everything's so ~artisan~.

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Seriously, there's barely even a Waitrose to be seen in this city.

11. You love going to Cornwall and meeting Londoners.

Primarily so you can ask them how long it took them to get there.

12. In Bristol, nobody cares how much your house cost.

CW / Via wifflegif.com

But you feel compelled to tell them anyway.

13. Just when you thought you'd had enough of mayors with flair... you got stuck with another one.

Flickr: paulnew / Creative Commons

14. You're planning to try Fire Poi in St Andrew's Park next summer.

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It looks so meaningful

15. Even though you're scared to admit it, sometimes you can't understand a word people say here.

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16. And you don't understand why Temple Meads doesn't have any shops.

17. You miss Riz Lateef more than some of your friends.

News isn't the same in Bristol. At all.
Flickr: supermac / Creative Commons

News isn't the same in Bristol. At all.

18. You thought you'd heard the last of "south of the river?" comments from taxi drivers when you left London.

jkupferman / Via Wifflegif

You were wrong.

19. And even though you're out of London, you still keep on eye over your shoulder when walking home at night.

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But only in case you spot Banksy cranking out another gem.