Let me be real with you – I’m jealous of Jeremy Meeks.
Have you seen his mug shot? This #hotconvict stole the hearts of every woman on my Facebook feed – it's all I read about!
There's some folks out there on the internet that say he shouldn't receive special treatment just because of his rugged good looks.
I say fine – let him. Two can play at that game.
Taking account for his sexiness factor, which is the culmination of his rugged good looks, pre-trial double digit felony count and bail exceeding one million dollars, I imagined up my own list of crimes that would make me equally, if not exponentially, more attractive.
A calendar was the best way I could compete with Jeremy Meeks' level of sexiness. It's not like I could ever afford to commit all of these crimes.
I don't have that much free time to spend in court and jail (most likely prison). Besides, the cost of bail is exorbitant these days.
Besides, one mug shot isn't enough.
If he got that much attention with one measly mug shot then I'm taking twelve!
And every single month I have the privilege to see one more mischievous smirk, smile, or flirtatious frown.
What's not love about these fictitious photos? They're snarky and really get into the context of the criminal behind the photo, you know?
That's the one thing Meeks' mug shot was missing.
Context – it's important. It really drives the image home and makes it more powerful.
I mean, do you have any idea how hard it is to rack up one million dollars' worth of imaginary bail? It wasn't easy, I'll tell you that.
But really, let's cut to the chase here. Do you think my photos are hot or not?
Doesn't matter. I never brutally attacked anyone.
Both 2014 and 2015 Sexy Convict Calendars are available for download via TeraPixelStudios.
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