1. You're green
2. You list your ethnicity as "bush"
3. Bees fornicate on your head
4. You have no thumbs
5. You wake up every day and think "goddamn I'm a bush"
6. When someone says "tell me about yourself," you say, "I'm a bush"
7. You're always the last one picked for stickball
8. You're a staunch atheist
9. Whenever someone says "beating around the bush" in your presence, it's usually followed by an awkward, uncomfortable silence, and then a playful, "lighten up, man! I'm just joshing with you!"
10. No one takes your opinion seriously, unless it's about mulch
11. People routinely point at you and scream "BUSH"
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