Dude. Seriously. I love my life. say.ly/eOO1utJ
— Gwyneth Paltrow (@GwynethPaltrow) February 27, 2012

Skeletors wife #RolesForAngelinaJolie
— RainnWilson (@rainnwilson) February 27, 2012
It's over! Now Hollywood can go back to normal (lyin, cheatin, backstabbin:).
— Tom Arnold (@TomArnold) February 27, 2012
That #billycrystall KILLED it!Great show even though I am sickLove it Crying and laughing through tears. :) #Oscar2012 #bestoneevee!
— Ricki Lake (@RickiLake) February 27, 2012
Only Billy Crystal can ruin Meryl Strep for me. #oscars #fuckbillycrystal
— rob corddry (@robcorddry) February 27, 2012
Off to vanity fair twitter.com/driverminnie/s…
— Minnie Driver (@driverminnie) February 27, 2012
Obtuse dick jokes! #oscars #tweetroast#fuckbillycrystal
— rob corddry (@robcorddry) February 27, 2012
Can I tweet "Miss Piggy is a cunt?" #oscars #fuckbillycrystal
— rob corddry (@robcorddry) February 27, 2012
Nothing snarky to say about Cirque Soliel. #oscars #fuckbillycrystal
— rob corddry (@robcorddry) February 27, 2012
He's been in the business for 40 years, you think he'd know when the camera was on him! #oscars #fuckbillycrystal
— rob corddry (@robcorddry) February 27, 2012
"45 minute drive to a black person" the only thing Billy Crystal has said that he will get undue shit for #oscars #fuckbillycrystal
— rob corddry (@robcorddry) February 27, 2012
Well check that out, instead of the maids, the french are cleaning up tonight.Refreshing.
— Official Wanda Sykes (@iamwandasykes) February 27, 2012
RT @mattisgrounded: jim rash. national treasure. (@RashisTVUgly) twitter.com/mattisgrounded…
— Thomas Lennon (@thomaslennon) February 27, 2012
I love that black folks lost focus on her winning.They got distracted, "Who's that white man sitting next to Octavia?"
— Official Wanda Sykes (@iamwandasykes) February 27, 2012
Did you outguess me? I got nine of eleven. I was undone by Meryl Streep and "Undefeated."
— Roger Ebert (@ebertchicago) February 27, 2012
It's the 588th Dog Oscars this year.
— Simon Pegg (@simonpegg) February 27, 2012
The Artist taught us what Instagram has been telling us every day: words and mind blowing modern technology are out.
— Whitney Cummings (@WhitneyCummings) February 27, 2012
That dog from Frazier was really good in "The Artist."
— RainnWilson (@rainnwilson) February 27, 2012
My wife turned to me during the Oscar telecast & said "You know you have all the qualities of someone who was abandoned as a young child."
— RainnWilson (@rainnwilson) February 27, 2012
— Ghostface Killah (@GhostfaceKillah) February 27, 2012
Again, late to the party, BUT...how about presenters cut their BS schitck & let people who win give their full speeches??
— Kate Walsh (@katewalsh) February 27, 2012
I only saw part of the show; here with folks with serious ADD, ran outta Ritalin 10 min in.I tried...
— Bette Midler (@BetteMidler) February 27, 2012
I can't believe it!!I thought for sure it was George or Brad!!! WTF!??!!?I too like The French,but, really!!!
— Bette Midler (@BetteMidler) February 27, 2012
i am not watching oscars becouse i'm afraid i will watch and then rather bedoing something else...
— John Cusack (@johncusack) February 27, 2012
i would like to accpet rob cordysgratitude in t his future oscarspeech for httm
— John Cusack (@johncusack) February 27, 2012
and a BIG SHOUTOUT to Billy Crystal. Thanks for letting be a part of the show and you killed it tonight. #muchlove
— Justin Bieber (@justinbieber) February 27, 2012
Sacha Baron Cohen rules!!!!! #Oscars
— Perez Hilton (@PerezHilton) February 27, 2012
Oh Meryl I love you
— Kat Dennings (@OfficialKat) February 27, 2012
Congratulations to J.Lo and Cam Diaz for igniting no boners just then #Oscars
— Kat Dennings (@OfficialKat) February 27, 2012
And the award for best looking date goes to Chris Pratt!
— chris pratt (@prattprattpratt) February 27, 2012
Loved this years awards! Great talent lots of comedy and tears for the greats whom we have lost that contributed to our world of cinema.
— Goldie Hawn (@goldiehawn) February 27, 2012
Just saw the dog from "The Artist" do coke off Jack Nicholson's sunglasses.
— rob delaney (@robdelaney) February 27, 2012
Hanging with @smokey_robinson at the Elton John Oscar Party! twitpic.com/8p9z5s
— Heidi Klum (@heidiklum) February 27, 2012

I hear the worst, or at least most boring, Academy Awards party this year was the @VanityFair party. It's lost (cont) tl.gd/g57q7j
— Donald J. Trump (@realDonaldTrump) February 27, 2012
Am I the only one who thought Eddie Murphy looked weird?
— Albert Brooks (@AlbertBrooks) February 27, 2012
Heard Somebody Puked On The Steps. Yes
— Wiz Khalifa (@RealWizKhalifa) February 27, 2012
Draped In Chanel
— Wiz Khalifa (@RealWizKhalifa) February 27, 2012
I want Nick Nolte to bite everyone on the red carpet then howl at the sky! #OscarsAreDumb #Drive
— Steve Agee (@steveagee) February 27, 2012
Why is Lyle Lovett nominated for best supporting actress? #OscarsAreDumb #Drive #willow
— Steve Agee (@steveagee) February 27, 2012
Wait, oldman's never been nominated??WTF?!! #OscarsAreDumb
— Steve Agee (@steveagee) February 27, 2012
Yknow what this Oscar ceremony REALLY needs? An offensive moment. Or at least a moment these stiffs will THINK is offensive.
— Kathy Griffin (@kathygriffin) February 27, 2012
Ok, who was the crazy gay next to Sandy Bullock cupping his hands & screaming "Meryl" at the top of his lungs continuously?Hahahahaha
— Kathy Griffin (@kathygriffin) February 27, 2012
R u shittin me? Oprah got a govowners board award?Where the fuck was I? And ps, Steadman is alive?
— Kathy Griffin (@kathygriffin) February 27, 2012
Angie Joliee. A little chubby, or is it me?I mean in the upper arm area...
— Kathy Griffin (@kathygriffin) February 27, 2012
Oscar prediction: 9-11 movies will start winning 20 years from now. And I will be a humorless douchbag about it. #oscars
— rob corddry (@robcorddry) February 27, 2012
261 comments on my Facebook agree: Yes, there was something wrong with the sound during the broadcast.
— Roger Ebert (@ebertchicago) February 27, 2012
Thank you Sir Elton John for such a lovely night! Now to Vanity Fair. I love all the glitz & glam of the oscars & celebrating such talent!
— Miley Ray Cyrus (@MileyCyrus) February 27, 2012
I think biscuits and gravy are my favorite thing. I love that I made Oscar night my cheat day
— Miley Ray Cyrus (@MileyCyrus) February 26, 2012
The Dictator is awesome! Seascrest looks so pissed!!
— Carson Daly (@carsonjdaly) February 27, 2012
From vanity fair twitter.com/realcherylhine…
— cheryl hines (@realcherylhines) February 27, 2012
Beckhams in the house looking good
— Jackie Collins (@jackiejcollins) February 27, 2012
And forever young Tom cruise
— Jackie Collins (@jackiejcollins) February 27, 2012
Paltrow just a arrived, Tall and tanned
— Jackie Collins (@jackiejcollins) February 27, 2012
Chris Martin just joined gwyneth
— Jackie Collins (@jackiejcollins) February 27, 2012
Just told Clare Danes how Much Iloved Homefront
— Jackie Collins (@jackiejcollins) February 27, 2012
Of all the Oscar people I've met tonight this is my favorite! @abby_lee_millersay.ly/RFB1uvq
— Lance Bass (@LanceBass) February 27, 2012

Ryan Seacrest cried tonight :*(
— Andy Milonakis (@AndyMilonakis) February 27, 2012
. @ryanseacrest, you are a Pro.
— Kristen Bell(@IMKristenBell) February 27, 2012
I spy J-Lo's aureole! It's not gonna get more exciting than this tonight.
— Andy Cohen (@BravoAndy) February 27, 2012
Pose it Angelina! #workit #sashayshauntay #Oscars
— Andy Cohen (@BravoAndy) February 27, 2012
Cruise looks 25. How the eff does he do it?!?!?! #Oscars
— Andy Cohen (@BravoAndy) February 27, 2012
I'm pretty sure I fell in love w/ Tim Tebow at the Vanity Fair party. Can't figure out why he wasn't into me. Hmmm.
— Andy Cohen (@BravoAndy) February 27, 2012
Why is there a nun on the red carpet?
— Elizabeth Banks (@ElizabethBanks) February 27, 2012
@seth_rogen Loved your jokes about me! Wish I was there to see the audience reaction?
— Brett Ratner (@BrettRatner) February 26, 2012
Lily Collins, Star of my next produced effort, #MirrorMirror! say.ly/mGA1uw6
— Brett Ratner (@BrettRatner) February 27, 2012

If a bomb had dropped on party @vanity fair Hollywood would be decimated , so many faces mostly pretty some hideous!
— Joan Collins (@joancollinsobe) February 27, 2012
Bad news: Angelina Jolie's arms just snapped off at the Vanity Fair party. Twizzler-width streams of her blood trickled onto the crudités.
— Julie Klausner (@julieklausner) February 27, 2012
This year, Christopher Plummer for Beginners, next year, Christopher Plummer for Dummies.
— Scott Aukerman (@ScottAukerman) February 27, 2012
Getting ready for Vanity Fair Oscar party x vb yfrog.com/g0lm1yej
— Victoria Beckham (@victoriabeckham) February 27, 2012

Actors are assholes
— Roseanne Barr (@TheRealRoseanne) February 27, 2012
Highlight of my.life dancing with Madonna. Saw scarlet j michael jordan
— Roseanne Barr (@TheRealRoseanne) February 27, 2012
Saw Ashton k p Cruz m driver jack n stars galore. Fun fun fun
— Roseanne Barr (@TheRealRoseanne) February 27, 2012
Another shot with this 67' beauty... Takes me back... Fun party, nice to unwind after a long day yfrog.com/oegusvrj
— Mario Lopez (@MarioLopezExtra) February 27, 2012

Last night was a lot of fun! Getting up this morning... Not so much fun. Today my voice sounds like a combo of Don Corleone & Nick Nolte
— Mario Lopez (@MarioLopezExtra) February 27, 2012
The perils of a white tuxedo jacket. I was mistaken for a waiter twice at the Governors Ball. #fashionmalfunction
— Paul Feig (@paulfeig) February 27, 2012
Best night ever
— Serena Williams (@serenawilliams) February 27, 2012
I assume you're awake this early because you also kept seeing Angelina Jolie scurrying along your bedroom ceiling?
— Dan Harmon (@danharmon) February 27, 2012
Jane Fonda and @anniehyepark talk showbiz at #vanityfair say.ly/ooz1ux4
— Brett Ratner (@BrettRatner) February 27, 2012

I can't stop thinking about Angelina Jolie standing with her leg out
— mary lynn rajskub (@rajskub) February 27, 2012
Just got back from various Oscar parties. It's 6 AM in LA. Consensus: best-produced Oscar show ever. No lawyers, managers or agents thanked.
— Bret Easton Ellis (@BretEastonEllis) February 27, 2012
Who am I wearing? I"m wearing consciousness
— RuPaul (@RuPaul) February 27, 2012
What did everyone think of the Oscars last night? I was tearing up during Octavia and Meryl's speeches. Well deserved!
— Ramona Singer (@ramonasinger) February 27, 2012
SOOOOOOOO tired (-: Literally had 45 mins sleep last night. Did Oscar red carpet, went to show, then to Governors Ball party, up early4 CBS!
— Nancy O'Dell (@NancyODell) February 27, 2012
Seems I missed some fun last night with some nipple and legs. Gotta catch up on my TiVo today and figure out what happened.
— Melissa Joan Hart (@MellyJHart) February 27, 2012
Oscars!!! @pietrinooo @valemicchetti say.ly/xUr1uww
— Sofia Vergara (@SofiaVergara) February 27, 2012

Only way to be at the Oscars: Be nominated-or Elton John's Viewing party... :)
— ian somerhalder (@iansomerhalder) February 27, 2012
Has anyone used the Oscars headline "Mr. Sunday Night" yet? What about "Oscaryze This"? Can I call dibs?
— todd levin (@toddlevin) February 27, 2012
Do you think The Cloon turns to Kiebler and says, "Your services are no longer required."#jkjk
— Kay Cannon (@KayKayCannon) February 27, 2012
Christian Bale just murdered a valet guy. #PostOscars
— Jenny Johnson (@JennyJohnsonHi5) February 27, 2012
I can't believe how many of these gay guys have wives! #Oscars
— Jenny Johnson (@JennyJohnsonHi5) February 27, 2012
Oh boy. Cinderella really turned into a pumpkin. Sorry @KristoferBucklelockerz.com/s/187653070
— Kelly Ripa (@KellyRipa) February 27, 2012

Love @chrisrock no matter where or what he's doin #oscars
— Jeffrey Ross (@realjeffreyross) February 27, 2012
Did Glen Close play Conan O'Brien? #oscars
— Jeffrey Ross (@realjeffreyross) February 27, 2012
I wish this ceremony was also a silent film. #oscars
— Jeffrey Ross (@realjeffreyross) February 27, 2012
Angelina Jolie's leg was much more uncomfortable for me than Janet's nipple. #maliceofforethought
— Thomas Lennon (@thomaslennon) February 27, 2012
OH MY GOD! The Indian keyboardist at the Oscars is my absolute favorite! Feel it man! Feel it!
— taran killam (@TaranKillam) February 27, 2012
Meryl Streep's acceptance speech was exactly @elliottdotabby's impression of her. "Oh come on!"
— taran killam (@TaranKillam) February 27, 2012
S/O to Elton John, thanks so much for a great evening! Shout out Mehcad Brooks, 1 kool dude!
— Shawn Stockman (@shawnstockman) February 27, 2012
There sure are a lot of snobby actors in this biz!!!
— Shawn Stockman (@shawnstockman) February 27, 2012
My very tired co-host for The Oscar Backstage Pass @CameronMathison twitpic.com/8pa6r7
— Sherri Shepherd (@SherriEShepherd) February 27, 2012

Watching @abc bounce around from #oscars party to party- it's sorta sad. Lotta people trying soooo hard...
— Carson Daly (@carsonjdaly) February 27, 2012
Oscars! Oscars! My feet are cold, my mom is snoring and I can't fall asleep. Hollywood!
— erinn hayes (@hayeslady) February 27, 2012
Well...I didn't win an Oscar. Which makes perfect sense considering I've never been in a movie and I wasn't nominated.
— Adam Levine (@adamlevine) February 27, 2012
(Kind of tacky of Clooney's date to dress as an Oscar)
— Dan Harmon (@danharmon) February 27, 2012
I got a kiss from one of the hottestchicks in Hollywood! instagr.am/p/HgAqlXAb7p/
— Kelly Osbourne (@MissKellyO) February 27, 2012

Thank you Elton tonight was amazing! instagr.am/p/HgAQCSAb7m/
— Kelly Osbourne (@MissKellyO) February 27, 2012

Good luck at the Oscars, Bret McKenzie! Either way, your song is the best song.
— Kristen Schaal (@kristenschaaled) February 26, 2012
Congrats to my homie Bret for only winning an motherflippin' academy award tonight. #legend
— Arj Barker (@arjbarker) February 27, 2012
“@ezraklein: And the Oscar for best Oscar presenter goes to Chris Rock.†I agree Ezra!
— Oprah Winfrey (@Oprah) February 27, 2012
Such a fun night...so tempted to fall asleep in gown and make up...but nooooooo #needhelpx x
— Lisa Vanderpump (@LisaVanderpump) February 27, 2012
Thanks AU, thanks Montgomery, thanks home state.....thanks family!
— octavia spencer (@octaviaspencer) February 26, 2012
LOVE the minority representation at the #oscars, but what does it say that the only Asian face was on the violinist? #ReachHigher
— Daniel Dae Kim (@danieldaekim) February 27, 2012
Angelina Jolie's right leg has it's own twitter account.Even the most dead inside must admit that's pretty funny.
— Cheyenne Jackson (@cheyennejackson) February 27, 2012
The Descendants is a wonderful film that asks us to believe that someone would ever cheat on George Clooney with Matthew Lillard.
— Richard Dreyfuss (@RichardDreyfuss) February 25, 2012
Loser. twitter.com/MatthewLillard…
— matthew lillard (@MatthewLillard) February 27, 2012