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Premiere: Nick Offerman's "Hanky Song"

Watch an exclusive clip from the forthcoming Netflix special, Nick Offerman: American Ham, out Friday.

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This Friday Netflix will offer to the world its newest special, Nick Offerman: American Ham. The full-length comedy show is described as "a master class in life, love, woodworking, meat eating and being a man," however for any fan of Offerman's it can be described in one word: hilarious. The show shares Nick's 10 tips for prosperity, the value of making things with one's hands, love advice, and stories from his marriage to Megan Mullally, who pops up throughout the performance as well. We got a chance to ask Nick about his inspiration for this show and, more importantly, how in the world he came to be motivated to write the "Hanky Song."

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How did you find the process of selecting stories and jokes for the special?

Elucidating.

Did anything end up on the proverbial cutting room floor?

Yes, plenty, as the show was deemed to contain too much "clean" language, and also some overly polite anecdotes that failed to mention either my balls or any bodily orifice whatsoever, so those items lacking such "quality" were left by the wayside.

At what age did you become fascinated with hankies?

I am not fascinated with handkerchiefs, but I am certainly a devout disciple of that most versatile of pocket accessories. As a young boy in rural Illinois, my Dad taught me to always carry a clean hanky every day, and my life has been all the richer for it. With a clean hanky and a multi-tool in your pockets, there's nothing you can't accomplish.

Would you say that you agree with the famous old adage, "The hanky makes the man"?

The handkerchief is not a gender-specific swatch. On the contrary, men and ladies alike can improve their quality of life by readily reserving a handkerchief in a pocket, handbag, or clutch. Thus girded, a person bearing any assortment of genitalia whatsoever will be safeguarded against misplaced mucus or other unfortunate ejaculations.

Do you happen to have a go-to hanky store?

I do not. Such a store would strike me as superfluous, as really any small rag in the neighborhood of one square foot of surface area will suffice. If a staunch American can't procure or weave his/her own scrap of snot-cotton, what is this country coming to? What's next? Store-bought wooden furniture?!

Do you have any plans to write more songs in the future?

Describing my pieces as "songs" is extremely generous — for which I thank you sincerely. As such, I do intend to "compose" more "songs" for my continued efforts in engendering mirth amongst the American public. You can also expect to see from me further attempts to "play" my guitar.

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And now without further ado, the premiere of the "Hanky Song":

Nick Offerman: American Ham premieres this Friday, Dec. 12, at 12:01 a.m. PST on Netflix in the U.S., Canada, and the U.K./Ireland.

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