Whether or not you actually ~enjoy~ eating vegetables...
...I promise you'll appreciate these tweets about them:
1.
Me, opening my eyes to see I have two minutes left before my alarm clock goes off:
2.
FRIEND: It's called cauliflower. It's not ghost broccoli. ME: [taking a long drag on my cigarette] Listen kid, I know what I saw.
3.
me to my spinach after I cook it
4.
Why does celery taste like that..............
5.
until I see a cauliflower lay an egg I’m not eating no damn cauliflower wing!
6.
If a potato can become vodka, then I can become a doctor
7.
the eggplant went from absolute nobody to sex icon talk about a fuckin cinderella story
8.
[God making cilantro] ANGEL: You just want more... parsley? How is this different? GOD: [taking bong rip] lmao, make it taste like soap to some people
9.
when i peel when my mom a potato peels a potato
10.
What is a pickle, if not a cucumber persevering
11.
Thank you, butternut squash, for being an appetizing food despite having the words butt, nut, and squash in your name. #thankyounotefriday
12.
People Always Act Big Until They’re Under Heat 🔥 Okay Spinach 🙄🙄🙄😭
13.
Me in the mid-2000s to my crush who’s parents lived in a gated suburb: 😳what if we kissed😳 🙈next to your parents tasteful and stylistic wavy glass jar of different colored peppers🙈
14.
Idc if my girl look like a potato. That's my ride or fry .
15.
EXCLUSIVE: I also like dry kale chips 😂 https://t.co/AuHTBskD8b
16.
I love the confidence of a veggie patty who does not pretend to be meat. She is made of beets and she is living in her truth
17.
My fat ass thought this was a baked potato https://t.co/PPzr043TI6
18.
im always intrigued by close friends stories...who not allowed to see u grilling zucchini
19.
romaine lettuce hasn’t been called back in a minute. i’m glad she got her life together
20.
horses are one of the only known mammals to have their own type of radish
21.
An ice cream shop but it’s mashed potatoes
22.
two corgis afraid of large zucchini
23.
When I cook with cilantro I throw in a little soap too so no one feels genetically superior to anyone else
24.
yall aren’t ready for this conversation but the stigma that mainstream media put out against brussel sprouts was straight up propaganda. that shit is delicious when prepared correctly
25.
If sweet potato pie had a voice it will sound like Loretta Devine
26.
i cant explain it but strawberry has red energy, and carrot has orange engergy. Broccoli has green energy. I can't explain it
27.
"Add one small onion (finely chopped), then half an onion, then a quarter of an onion, then an eighth of an onion..."–Recipe for Mandelbroth
28.
Celery is 95% water and is 100% not pizza
29.
retweet if this radish is sexier than you
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