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    Posted on Dec 23, 2013

    Charlie Sheen Wrote A Poem Shaming Duck Dynasty's Phil Robertson

    A strange new addition to the Duck Dynasty saga. #TigerBlood

    Jason Kempin / Getty Images
    Theo Wargo / Getty Images

    Presented without comment:

    hey Mallard brained
    Phil Robertso!
    you have offended and hurt so many dear friends of mine,
    who DO NOT have the voice or the outreach that I do.
    well news flash
    shower-dodger,
    I will speak loudly and clearly for ALL of them.
    so,
    just when your desperately sub evolved ass thought the pressure was off,
    you are now in the crosshairs of a MaSheen style media
    beat down.
    (I'll try to keep the big words to a minimum as not to confuse you)

    your statements were and are
    abhorrently and
    mendaciously unforgivable.

    the idea that you have a job
    outside of dirt-clod stacking
    is a miracle.

    the only 'Dynasty' you are attached to might be the
    re-runs of that dated show.

    the only thing you should ever be in charge of building is a hole in the ground the exact size of your head.
    perhaps your beard would fit as well if you plucked out the
    army of scabies and
    bull weevils sequestered deep in it's sarcophagus of dander and weasel pelts.

    shame on you.
    you're the only surviving
    brain donor I've ever known.

    when the gators and Egrets
    kick you out of their
    hovel,
    you need to make serious amends to those you have
    radically offended.

    on the eight day
    when I was whittling my cosmic banjo,
    I'm pretty sure YOU were the scattered dross I then used to light a fire and
    locate the nearest
    Andy Gump.

    repulsed by you;
    c sheen

    hash tag;
    Duck; that was me.

    Charlie also added this photo of a duck for good measure:

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