41 Regrettably Tacky Photos Of Famous People

Photographer: "Look, Jen, I know this looks a lot like the SNICK couch but it's all we could find on short notice. You look great!"

Photographer: "Christina, honey: when I look at you I immediately think Futuristic Indian Princess. Now get in that half of a glass bowl and pretend you're a kitty-cat."

Photographer: "Julia, you're gorgeous! The only thing that could make you sexier is a genie costume. Let's do this."

Photographer: "Didn't you see Garden State? It's cool, trust me. This look made Zach Braff go from a goofy television doctor to a goofy indie actor practically overnight."

Photographer: "A good hat, exposed shoulders, and mom jeans never go out of style... haven't you ever had Glamour Shots done before?"

Photographer: "Cameron, I want you to spread eagle on top of this stool ...but with your knees bent so we can keep it PG-13. But don't look like you think you look sexy right now, I want your face to look completely blasé. Magnificent!"

Photographer: "Sorry, Jen. We could only find a leather jacket in the size XXL... but we think you can make it work."

Photographer: "It's a tasteful nude, out here in this field. But let's push the envelope just a tad by putting a dandelion in your teeth."

Photographer: "Here's a flower. Do your thing."

Photographer: "But the jacket matches your hair! Don't worry, the pattern is very in right now!"

Photographer: "Persian rugs are always elegant."

Photographer: "Trust me, blue eye shadow NEVER goes out of style."

Photographer: "I'm sorry, but where the fuck did that bottle of Perrier just come from?"

Photographer: "When I heard Jessica Simpson I immediately thought big orange padded room. Do you like it?"

Photographer: "You're certainly no angel, Jen. Keep the wings, lose the clothes, and lets slather you up with honey and lube. Can somebody get us some dry ice up in here?"

Photographer: "Hi, David? I'm the photographer here for the Architectural Digest shoot — is this a bad time? Do you mind getting down from that spherical ball? Okay, um, we can reschedule, you have my card. By the way, GREAT pants."

Photographer: "Yes, I want everyone on this shoot shirtless and in overalls. Gay undertones? I don't see it."

Photographer: "Did you see the shoot I did with Jordan Catalano? Let's put your hair up and I want you to hold this black plastic tarp. Have fun with it. Great!"

Photographer: "We'll put you in homely housewife clothes, it'll be great!"

Photographer: "You're in a car crash but you're fine because you're wearing a helmet that ironically is made from shattered glass. It's BRILLIANT!"

Photographer: "Instead of curling your hair or crimping your hair, let's do a combination of both — but let's just do it to certain strands of your hair, not ALL of it."

Photographer: "Did you see that photoshoot I did with Melissa Joan Hart?"

Photographer: "You're a topless hippie! Oh, I'm sorry about the jeans. All we could find were this pair of JNCO jeans so we tried to make them look a little more dated. It's fine, nobody's gonna look anywhere other than your chest, I promise."

Photographer: "We need more rings."

Photographer: "We don't have any mirrors here, so Liv, just put the daisies wherever you want and hopefully it works out."

Photographer: "I see a retro-futuristic version of Poison Ivy in you. Now lean up against that chain fence and run with it."

Photographer: "Nothing is sexier than a topless girl making a fishface."

Photographer: "Have you ever heard of Simple Plan? No? Well, we're going to style you like a Canadian pop punk group anyway."

Photographer: "If you insist on demonstrating your new hobbies, Madge, must it be the one where you swallow and regurgitate your pet goldfish Timmy? All right, then let's at least have you pose out by the pool..."

Photographer: "Okay, Thora. I want you to stay still and pretend you're a blow-up sex doll."

Photographer: "The hair, it's like a bun. But instead of wrapping it completely, let's spread it all around your head so it looks like there's a giant spider about to consume her it!"

Photographer: "You've won a freaking Oscar so I know you can at least pretend that you're happy so, SMILE!"

Photographer: "There's no way you disfigured posing like that, promise."

Photographer: "You're in the middle of the jungle and you're terrified. TERRIFIED! You'll also have perfectly-manicured black fingernails that are nearly two inches long, but it's for the sake of fashion, so it'll work."

Photographer: "Hi Jim, here's a stool."

Photographer: "You're on Mars, in a space egg."

Photographer: "Who's Beavis? I don't see the resemblance."

Photographer: "Long black velvet gloves always imply that a woman has class."

Photographer: "I know you're bummed that you got caught shoplifting, but please just sit over by that fire, drag the flowers into the shot, and pretend like you're happy."

Photographer: "Crimped hair and bows everywhere. Yeah, even the ears."