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60 Thoughts You Have When Your Phone Falls On Your Face

Thank God it wasn't the original Nokia mobile. I'd be dead.

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1. My face! My precious face!

2. This hurts more than it should.

3. OMG did I chip a tooth?

4. Can you chip a tooth on your phone?

5. I think it's given me a bruise.

6. I'll never be able to tell anyone how I got this.

7. Maybe I'll just tell them I sneezed and smacked my head on my desk.

8. It's less embarrassing.

9. I just HAD to use my phone in bed.

10. Wait, who cares about my face? IS MY SCREEN OK?!

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11. Why don't they make these damn phone covers with hand grips?

12. *Googles phone covers with hand grips*

13. Oh, they DO make phone covers with hand grips.

14. Wow.

15. They are the ugliest things I've ever seen.

16. I'm not sure I can invest in something so aesthetically...what's the word?

17. Oh right; Shit.

18. What do I choose?

19. My face or my case?

20. I'm just not emotionally ready for this kind of decision.

21. Is this karma for that time I blocked my parents on Facebook?

22. And told them Instagram had an age cap?

23. And pretended I couldn't hear them when they asked if I'd heard about FaceTime?

24. Or is this karma for that one (hundredth) time I stalked my ex on Instagram?

25. And then on Twitter?

26. And then on Facebook?

27. And then on Vine?

28. And then...

29. Wait...WAIT...WAIT A SECOND.

30. Oh no.

31. Oh no oh no oh no.

32. I was on my ex's Instagram when my phone slapped me in the face.

33. I couldn't have...

34. Could I?

35. No.

36. MY NOSE DOUBLE-TAPPED A PHOTO.

37. I REPEAT. MY NOSE DOUBLE-TAPPED A PHOTO.

38. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.

39. My phone sometimes won't let me answer calls and yet my nose can double-tap a photo.

40. This never would've happened to Lord Voldemort.

41. He had the right idea.

42. This is mortifying.

43. I'm dying.

44. I'm dead.

45. Tell Tom Felton I love him.

46. Thank God it wasn't the Nokia 3310.

47. Or an iPad.

48. Or a Samsung.

49. Then I really would be dead.

50. #Blessed

51. I'm NEVER using my phone in bed again.

52. Although I guess this is pretty funny.

53. Like, if you're one of those people who thinks Funniest Home Videos is funny.

54. Which it is.

55. I should Tweet about this.

56. I'm so self-depreciating and relatable.

57. I wonder if my ex will see this.

58. I'll just take a quick peek at their page.

59. F*CK.

60. Dropped my phone on my face again.

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