Look I'm not saying that Thanksgiving is better than Christmas, I'm just saying that we shouldn't look past Thanksgiving. Christmas is great but so is Thanksgiving. Apparently America is to ADD to read and appreciate a true piece of art in literary writings anymore and can only read things in lists (screw you buzz feed). Due to this fact I will have to write this in list form instead of intelligently. Props to you if you actually are still reading this and did not skip to the list already.
1.The Food
Everyone loves Thanksgiving meals or your communist. Nothing else needs to be said here.
2. Pocahontas
Of course there are way more and way better Christmas movies but who doesn't like to see Indians talking to trees? I know I do. Mel Gibson singing? What's not to love? That adorable little raccoon. Colors of the wind…. Your argument is invalid
3.Football
Football is a tradition on thanksgiving whether watching it or playing it (I will get to that in a little while). Football is always better on thanksgiving, which is surprising because the lions and cowboys always have a game on thanksgiving. A full belly and watching those two teams lose is just part of thanksgiving tradition. One of the player of the game awards is called the "golden gobbler." Why is this not the name of the MVP award?
4.Aunt Wendy's Mac-n-Cheese
Sure you might not have an aunt Wendy, but I do. Sure one of your relatives does not make the best mac-n-cheese in the world, but one of mine does. Everyone has that relative that brings one of their "world famous" dishes and most of the time it either tastes bad or is nothing special. Every once in a while though there is that dish that a weird relative brings that is their purpose in life and it is the best tasting dish at the house. So while you may not have an aunt Wendy that makes the world's greatest mac-n-cheese you have a similar version of her.
5.Basketball
Sure the NBA is famous for their Christmas day games but nobody watches them. Seriously name one person who watches those games or gets excited for them. That's right you cannot. Meanwhile Thanksgiving is the start of college basketball season…
6.Season tip off tournaments
Every time you turn on ESPN during thanksgiving break there are college basketball teams competing against each other in front of a half empty gym on some tropical island. The games are so awkward because you are excited college basketball is back but there is just no buzz surrounding it because the only people that are there are natives of the island and they do not really understand basketball or speak English. The only thing more awkward is the coach that is red faced and yelling at the officials but they are wearing Hawaiian shirts.
7.Hand Turkeys
We all used to make these in elementary school. I still do make them. They are awesome. If you do not like them then grandmother willow will HUNT YOU DOWN
8.No Thanksgiving Music
Blah blah blah I love Christmas music blah blah blah I'm basic blah blah blah. Christmas music is great from the day after thanksgiving through Christmas day (exception: All I Want for Christmas is You by Mariah Carrey that song is always great). At any other times though it is unacceptable to listen too. There is only so many times one can hear the same song sung by different people over and over again.
9.Family Pictures
Families who dress up like pilgrams and Indians for thanksgiving and take pictures looking like that are the reason the world goes round. For that I say thank you or rather thanksI'mgiving you.
10. Turkey Bowls
The real reason we all get together with our families for thanksgiving is not to give thanks its to compare and compete and see who is winning life. It is the only reason we ever really get together with them besides Christmas or birthdays and that's solely for getting giving presents. All of this competition in some families culminates with a football game. There are certain types of people in all of these games. Lets review them.
Over competitive brothers: No turkey bowl is complete without these. These can be young kids or your dad and his brother still arguing over who the better athlete is.
Girls that play: sisters, aunts, cousins, moms, at least one insists on playing every year and most likely will make at least one huge mistake to lose the game.
Girls that don't play: usually include grandmas and two year olds, these are the cheerleaders for the game. Adorable. Simply adorable.
The uncle who could've been all-state or play in college if he didn't have that injury:
No one believes this him and its really just getting pathetic that he still believes it.
The weird cousin: This guy showed up to play in skinny jeans a zip up hoody and headphones. He'd rather be drawing weird art, playing video games, talk about how he is a vegan or some hipster shit, he hates sports and his dad probably is disappointed in him.
The relative who takes it way to seriously: Don't get me wrong these games are a matter of life or death but there is always that one guy who takes it way to seriously. He has plays already drawn up and wears eye black and a jersey, not a NFL or college jersey but like a generic red jersey that you see in those commercials that don't have enough money to buy rights from the NFL to wear. Possibly a headband and definitely long socks and shorts no matter the temperature.
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