10 Thoughts Every Girl Approaching Her Thirties Has

As our fertility begins to decline and our bums begin to sag, our brains start to torment us with these wicked thoughts.

1. You're no longer a 'girl' you're now a 'woman' and that means you must buy scarves.

2. Choosing a wine and a cheese is actually a very important decision that should not be taken lightly.

3. Am I too old for bowler hats?

4. But am I too young and too childless for converse, skinnies, Breton stripe tops, sensible hair cuts and a Barbour jacket?

5. Am I jealous of Jennifer Lawrence's nude photos or just very judgemental?

6. Kisstory finishes at 12 and then I'm turning over to Absolute 80s.

7. This new bar is super cool. Ooh, I can drink from a toy robot! But am I having a good time? Or would I rather be making my way home to my comfy PJs and Netflix. There's cheese at home!

8. It's 9pm. Fuck tomorrow, I'm staying up all night and binge-watching American Horror Story.

9. It's 9.15pm and I've fallen asleep on the sofa and I now have a mad crick in my neck. Time for bed!

10. Kids. Marriage. House. Career. Looks. Money. Kids. Marriage. House. Career. Looks. Money. Declining fertility. Kids. Marriage. House. Career. Looks. Money. Wrinkles. Kids. Marriage. House. Career. Looks. Money. Sagging skin.

It's hard being an adult.