Safari Classifieds: 14 Missed Connections To Thaw Your Cold, Lonely Heart

Spotting only four of the Big 5 safari animals isn't the only "missed connection" happening in the South African bush.

7:45 a.m. at Boulders Beach.

kool_skatkat / Via flic.kr

“You stole my fish… and then my heart.”

We nuzzled noses and I swear I saw my life in your eyes.

Johan deJager / Via flic.kr

“A group of zebras is called a dazzle, but you shine brighter than the rest! Rockin’ them stripes, gurl!”

Sabi Sands last weekend—you left without saying goodbye.

Antonio Olmedo / Via flic.kr

“I might be king of the jungle one day, but I’m nothing without my mane squeeze!”

4:37 p.m. in Kruger National Park (I never do this).

Brian Scott / Via flic.kr

“My friends are tired of hearing me talk about this cute young thing I saw in the bush, so I thought I would give this whole ‘online dating’ thing a shot.”

I offered to share my figs, but you said you were on a diet.

Robin Orchard / Via flic.kr

“You looked perfect to me! Let’s get dinner and continue our conversation about Dadaism in modern theater.”

This elephant will never forget you.

orkomedix / Via flic.kr

“We met at the watering hole and I opened with a corny joke about trunks. Let me make it up to you—same time, same place?”

Just wanted to say thanks.

Ramy Alaa / Via flic.kr

“I can’t stop smiling! Just wanted to say thanks for making my week. Here’s hoping I see you after while, crocodile.”

Please don’t make me get back on Tinder.

Tim Ellis / Via flic.kr

“I haven’t felt this type of connection in so long. What do you say we pick up where we left off and explore Addo? (We can gossip about the elephants.)”

Spotted! Kruger National Park 6:45 p.m.

Astrid Kopp / Via flic.kr

“We watched the sunset together, but I kept stealing glances at you. I think you noticed.”

My head’s been in the clouds since I saw you.

Chris Eason / Via flic.kr

“Met you at trivia night. You carried your team to victory. Tutor me?”

You’re the only one in the flock who doesn’t annoy me.

Nicholas Turland / Via flic.kr

“Run away with me? (You know who you are, funny guy.)”

You weren’t afraid to get a little dirty, and I liked it.

Jack Versloot / Via flic.kr

“Met in the Pilansberg Game Reserve. I loved that you were up for anything. Let’s clean up and do it again sometime?”

Richtersveld, January 28th.

Martin Heigan / Via flic.kr

“You really stood out from the crowd. I just hope you noticed me, too.”

Left shark? Nah, you’re the right shark for me.

Sebastien Lafont / Via flic.kr

“IDK if you’ll see this, but I can’t stop thinking of your moves. If you’re ever in Gansbaai, look me up!”