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The Definitive Ranking Of Girl Scout Cookies

Your favorite cookie comes with a merit badge to make up for your loss of self-respect. Much Love - Virgin Mobile

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1. Cranberry Citrus Crisps: "Better Than You" Badge

Awarded for: Believing they’re not cookies, they’re crisps. You don’t do it for the taste, you do it for the citrus farts that stink of smug satisfaction.

2. Savannah Smiles: "Forever Alone" Badge

Awarded for: Going the extra mile to avoid sharing. Including, but not limited to, eating a cookie flavored like lemon dish soap.

Protip: Use this empty box to hide your other snacks. No one will touch them.

4. Samoas: "Totally Not Racist" Badge

Awarded for: Saying “Samoa” because your Samoan friend said it was ok. You’re not racist, but you still make people uncomfortable the way you inhale an entire box.

6. Thin Mints: "Sleeve Serving" Badge

Awarded for: Finding any excuse to eat cookies by the handful. Thin Mints are like half the size of other Girl Scout Cookies so it only makes sense to eat twice as much.

10. Tagalongs: "Social Chameleon" Badge

Awarded for: Taking extreme measures to make sure everyone, everywhere, ever likes you. Chocolate, slammed around peanut butter, stuffed with cookies. They’ll have to love you now.

11. Thank U Berry Munch: "Healthier Than Thou" Badge

Awarded for: Outstanding commitment to pretending to be healthy. Yes, they’re cookies, but with cranberries! And everyone knows white fudge is the kale of the chocolate world.

#Obviously - Virgin Mobile

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