BuzzFeed Brazil asked readers to share stories of their first sexual encounters with somebody of the same sex. Here are their stories:
Note: Responses have been translated and edited for length and clarity.
1. The drive.
"I was still 'straight' and secretly used Tinder to match with guys. He was studying law at the Pontifical Catholic University. We were chatting on the app, until he told me that he was going to drive to my house so that we could meet in person.
"He was already fun to chat with online, and, luckily, also in person. We chatted, went to a fast food joint, and it was all very cool, until I realized in the car that he was taking a different route from the one to my house. I didn't object, because I wanted to. We arrived at a deserted place and everything was kinda dark. He looked at me with an inviting smile and seemed to find my surprise funny. And how was I? Nervous as hell!
"I knew what was about to go down, but I didn't know what to do, nor how to do it, or even if it was the right thing to do. It's different today, but at the time, it was still hard for me to accept my sexuality. He was patient and gave me time to take some initiative. But seeing that it wasn't going to happen, he just came close to me slowly and kissed me. The second gay kiss of my life. We carried on kissing, but my nervousness didn't go away at all. We took our clothes off and were naked in the car. I had mixed feelings.
"But my head and heart weren't on the same page. I really wanted to, but my nervousness didn't go away at all, and I couldn't stay hard even for a second. We tried. We kept touching each other, and I think I just made things worse, because my goal of 'staying hard' started to hammer away frantically in my head. In the end, nothing went well.
"I felt like shit, but he understood the situation, laughed and calmed me down. I stupidly asked if I could suck him off, because I was dying to do it (even though my dick indicated that I wasn't). He found it funny and I gave him what must be the worst blow job of my life. He took me home, and we went out a few times afterward. We had good sex on another occasion, and then we became friends." —Marcelo, 22 years old, identifies as gay
2. The sex worker.
"I was 20 years old and my boyfriend suggested a threesome. I saw it as a big adventure. It was just that the third person would be a prostitute. During the act, I was crazy about the way she kissed me on my mouth, touched me, and was tender with me. My boyfriend basically just watched; he hardly participated. Because she was a prostitute, she started by trying to please me and was surprised when I started wanting to please her during oral sex.
"I thought about her for weeks and decided to hire her again, alone. That was when I discovered that I enjoyed sex with girls. I've never had a serious relationship with a woman because of a lack of opportunity; I've only had casual encounters." —Anonymous, 31 years old, identifies as bisexual
3. My crush's sister.
"I really had a crush on her brother, before I met her. When I found out he had a sister, I thought, 'I'm going to become her friend and, who knows, she might help me to get together with him.' I added her and we started chatting. She was lovely and I, very naive, didn't know she was a lesbian. Until one day when she told me that she had a crush on me, and I was really surprised. It's just that, deep down, it seemed like I already liked her as well. Then one day she invited me to go with her to a party and, in the heat of the moment, we went to the bathroom and had sex right there. It was enjoyable and intense." —Thaís, 22 years old, identifies as straight
4. The meeting at the funeral.
"It was in 2012, with a friend of a friend. We met at the wake for our mutual friend's mother. One day, I went to her house for a photo shoot, and we stayed. And then we had sex. I was 18 years old at the time and I was going out with a guy. The sex was fantastic, much better than I'd imagined. It was just tragic, because I didn't really know what to do. She performed oral sex on me and I doubted whether I would also do it. Then I went down. And she looked at me with a scared face that seemed to say, 'Are you sure?' I told her that I didn't know. LOL. It was strange, but enjoyable." —Joyce, 25 years old, identifies as bisexual
5. Doing your best.
"We were both a little tipsy because we'd been drinking, and despite being friends, we already hooked up from time to time. At the time, it happened naturally, but when we went to have sex, neither of us knew how to suck or what to do. Neither of us ever had a sexual relationship with men either, but we did what we thought lesbians did, and ended up doing strange things, thinking that we were doing it correctly. At the end, we tried a position that made me hit my head on the floor and end everything in a fit of laughter and tears." —Anonymous, 18 years old, identifies as bisexual
6. The bites.
"Even though I've been dating a guy for almost ten years, my first time with a woman was at a motel, and I had to pretend that it was normal for me. Firstly, because the girl was older than me and didn't know that it was my first time with a person of the same sex. I didn't know what exactly to expect. I just know that I lusted after her, despite the adverse circumstances. I was 12 years younger than her, and she was my student. We became close in class and chatted a lot on WhatsApp, mainly about politics. One thing led to another and I found that I really wanted her.
"One day, we went out for a beer after class and sent messages to each another. Since we were already more than halfway there, we ended up spilling it all and discovered that we felt the same way. We made a date and went to the motel. It was very strange, because she said she'd already had other experiences, but, unbelievably, she bit my clitoris a few times (it really hurt!!!). And I surprised myself, because I made her climax four times. I, who had identified as straight until then, realized that performing oral sex on a woman was liberating and delightful, so much so that even I had an orgasm doing it to her." —Anonymous, 26 years old, identifies as bi/pansexual
7. "I left there thinking that I must really be straight."
"We planned on going out, but her parents decided to spend the night out and, at the same time, we thought it would be better to stay home and watch a movie. I had already slept with men, but I always felt attracted to women.
"We start kissing, things heat up, she takes off my shirt and pants, I take hers off, and so far, so good. At some point, she's on top of me, rubbing her pelvis against mine, almost as if she was penetrating me. Except that I was still wearing panties, and so was she. She was moaning and squeezing my breasts, and then she suddenly climaxed, or at least I think she did, and stopped doing anything.
"She laid down next to me and looked satisfied, so I pretended to be satisfied as well. I left there thinking that I must really be straight, because if that was sex with another woman, then it was really bad. Luckily I gave myself a few more chances, and today I'm a happy, open lesbian that understands her own body, knows what she wants, and really climaxes." —Gah, 24 years old, identifies as lesbian
8. With my parents at home.
"I was always interested in women, but that guy just turned my world upside down. I was 16 years old and it happened at my house WHILE MY PARENTS WERE IN THE NEXT ROOM. I was actually really sure about going through with it, but he was a virgin and was very afraid. Good thing that it went wonderfully and with a lot of spice, LOL. But he unexpectedly laughed at my facial expression when I came. I learned that trusting and speaking with your partner is always good. It really helped my darling, who was all rigid and timid, to relax." —Anonymous, 17 years old, identifies as questioning
9. The staircase.
"My first time was when I was 18 years old, under difficult conditions. I was extremely nervous, until I decided to go out with a guy from Tinder who seemed to be the ideal person to control my paranoia.
"So I went to his house and it ended up happening on the building's staircase (!) because there were people in his house. It wasn't very comfortable. I ended up regretting it afterward, because I was shocked by the reality that I was doing it with just anybody, and not with somebody that I really loved and trusted. As if it wasn't enough that we did it on the staircase, I even came in his mouth during oral sex without even realizing it, hahaha." —Anonymous, 22 years old, identifies as gay
10. My mother's cream.
"I got home bored out of my mind after some very annoying classes, and I was dying to get laid. I used Grindr, but just to snoop, because I didn't have the courage to go out with anybody. But that afternoon, I really had the urge, and I ended up making an arrangement with a guy that lived 700 meters from my house. I was home alone every day from 6 p.m. to 8 p.m., which was when my dad went to church. So I told him to come during that time. I gave a fake name and everything, because I was terrified of being found out.
"He arrived and we started kissing. It started getting harder and harder to breathe, because I was very nervous, but I decided to continue anyway. I got on my knees and gave him what I now imagine must have been a horrible blow job, and five minutes later, he told me to find something to lubricate, because he wanted to fuck me. I didn't have anything and ended up grabbing my mom's Avon cream, which had a very strong smell. He came over, put on the condom, and started. But I was paranoid and kept asking him if I was bleeding and checking my phone, because I was afraid my parents would call me.
"I ended up giving him a hand job so that he didn't leave without anything. After he left, I noticed that my sheet was completely dirty, because I didn't give myself an enema, and didn't even know that it was necessary at the time. There was also the smell of the cream and his sperm, so I cleaned everything in a frenzy, and my ass burned the whole next day, hahaha. To this day, I am traumatized by the smell of the cream he used. I hate when my mom uses it to massage my dad." —Anonymous, 19 years old, identifies as gay
11. Faking an orgasm.
"It was funny because, since I was always very loose, mischievous, and full of attitude, she thought that I must've had some experience, and I didn't! So I built up the courage and called her to come and study with me that afternoon. We went to cram school together and she was dating one of my ex-boyfriends from school (yes, I had experience with men before).
"Anyway, things started happening between us. We went to my house, took our clothes off, put our hands everywhere... But she started pulling strange faces... Well, I called it off. I didn't need to be super experienced to see that it wasn't flowing and that she was starting to fake it. I sat down with her and we talked. She confessed that she was pretending. She said, 'I've never climaxed and when I'm with X, I pretend so that he finishes up quickly, because I never enjoy it.'
"So we decided to try a few more times, calmly, patiently, taking our time. We discovered what an orgasm and sex between women feels like. Eventually, I moved away and never came back. She went back into the closet, got married, had a child. Two years ago, we bumped into each other at a mall and she had the courage to tell me that she still masturbated thinking about me... 🙈 I think the experience was worth it, right?" —Carol, 32 years old, identifies as a lesbian
12. The bathtub.
"I was 20 years old. We had dinner at a Japanese restaurant, she asked me if I wanted to have a fling, and we went to the motel. She chose the motel, because she said it was cheap, it had a bathtub, and that she had good memories there. She told me that she'd been to an orgy with an ex and a bunch of other people there. And I was saying to myself, 'OH MY GOD, SHE'S GOING TO NOTICE THAT I'M A VIRGIN AND I SAID I WASN'T.' Then I started thinking that I didn't have the necessary motor skills, while trying to remember all the oral sex tutorials in the world, terrified that she wouldn't like it and leave me because of that.
"Then we went to the bathtub. An hour later, I got up and ran out, getting everything wet. My clothes, which were on the floor, were soaked from the bathwater that fell on the floor. I was forced to stay with her in the room, because it was already morning and I lived in another city, and, on top of that, I was only wearing a towel. I was so embarrassed that I couldn't even look her in the face. And she started crying, thinking that it was because I didn't find her attractive. That made me feel hopeless, because I really liked her and didn't want her to feel bad. I told her that I got nervous in the bathtub. She noticed that I was shy and started being cute with me, and we started chatting, already forgetting about getting laid.
"Then, a few hours later, we started kissing and touching each other, and then it finally HAPPENED. I was eternally happy and felt that I had won a medal, because she said that the oral sex was amazing. These days, we hook up and laugh a lot when we remember this story. I only told her that it had been my first time five months later." —Anonymous, 23 years old, identifies as bisexual
This post was translated from Portuguese.