17 Things Couples In Open Relationships Need You To Know

"Just because we have an open relationship doesn't mean we don't get jealous."

We asked couples in open relationships what they would like to say about their relationships, and we picked the best answers to share in this post. We have left the couples themselves anonymous.

1. "I chose to have an open relationship, but that doesn't mean that everyone has to have one."

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Couples in open relationships do not necessarily want to convert you or for you to think that your monogamous relationship is "old-fashioned."

2. "Opting for an open relationship is not just about the sex."

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It involves bigger issues: It's a lifestyle, a choice about the philosophy of how you want to live with your partner.

3. "When I reveal that I'm in an open relationship, I'm not asking you to give your opinion about it."

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You don't have to tell me if you agree with it or not. It's OK.

4. "There is no one kind of relationship that is better than all the other kinds."

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There is only what's best for you. Monogamous love is not any "truer" than free love.

5. "Every couple in an open relationship has a dynamic, and all of them are valid."

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Relationships can take on thousands of different forms, but what matters most is that you talk with each other and work out what the details are.

6. "Opening up the relationship doesn't mean you're trying to 'save' the relationship."

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It's much more than that — it's about a dating or married couple freeing themselves from the idea of possession, and feeling happy that the person you love is free.

7. "Just because we have an open relationship doesn't mean we start sleeping around like crazy."

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Some open couples are actually pretty boring.

8. "Just because we have an open relationship doesn't mean we don't get jealous."

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The difference is how you deal with the jealousy. You need to assess how selfish your feelings are and rethink how you will react, but it's not off limits to approach your boyfriend or girlfriend and admit: "You're making me jealous."

9. "Just because we have an open relationship doesn't mean we can't feel betrayed."

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Each couple has a different idea of what it considers "betrayal." In order to betray your partner, all you have to do is be dishonest.

10. "Anyone can be in an open relationship — you just have to want it."

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A lot of people say they'd like to open the relationship, but they can't because they are jealous. If you want to, you can do it. Nobody was born being ready for an open relationship. It's a process.

11. "Just because I'm in an open relationship doesn't mean you can immediately start hitting on me."

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Respect is always important, and the interest has to be mutual.

12. "Open relationships cannot be abusive. The agreements must be equal and reciprocal."

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Both people have to want to open up the relationship. You shouldn't open up your relationship just to satisfy your partner or for fear of losing them.

13. "Just because they're in an open relationship doesn't mean the couple doesn't want to start a family."

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Non-monogamous couples can have children, start families, etc. Nothing changes.

14. "An open couple has to be very mature and have very good communication to make it work."

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The decision is mutual, well thought-out, and always based on respect. If either person feels uneasy or uncomfortable, they have to stop and rethink the arrangement.

15. "The important thing is the relationship, not the rules."

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The couple value the way they interact with one another, how they get along, and how they love each other. That's what's important. Because the rules can always change.

16. "Opening the relationship doesn't mean that they don't love each other anymore or that the sex is bad. In fact, it's quite the opposite."

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It's a way to make everything even better. It's not that they don't have enough love — they have too much!

17. "And always have safe sex!"

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Thinking about the safety of yourself and your partner when you have sex, whether they are there or not, is essential in an open relationship.

This post was translated from Portuguese.