If People Are Always Mispronouncing Your Name, Tell Us Whether You Correct Or Ignore Them

    I have multiple friends who just give fake names or only initials at places like Starbucks or for reservations in order to avoid complications.

    Hi, there! 👋 My name is Victoria, and while that's entirely easy to pronounce (though some Starbucks employees have gone with Doria and Gloria), I've got a Greek (middle and) last name that always throws people for a loop.

    It's one of those things where, on the first day of school, when there were multiple Victorias in class, I could always tell when the teacher was trying to call on me based on the awkward pause and furrowed brow that'd occur as they stared intensely at the seating chart. Or during ceremonies when they don't check beforehand, I have to respond to the most outrageous pronunciations of my last name.

    That being said, I've also witnessed firsthand as people (and I'm not talking strangers) butcher my friends' first names. For instance, our high school program director and teacher (as in he literally had us as students for a year) mispronounced my friend's name when we saw him the following year. Beyond being somewhere between impressed and shook, when I asked my friend why she didn't correct him and offered to correct him for her, she said she preferred not to so as to avoid embarrassing both of them.

    Photo of a blue metal lockers along a nondescript hallway in a typical US High School

    I also have multiple friends who just give fake names or only initials at places like Starbucks or for reservations in order to avoid complications.

    Passengers walk past a Starbucks coffee shop inside the departure terminal of the Belgian capital's airport

    And while that's sad that the person whose name is being mispronounced accepts it in part for the other person's sake, it's an incredibly common sentiment for those of us with non-Anglo names that are always butchered — especially when the conversation usually goes back and forth, ending with the person still barely saying it right.

    So if you have a commonly mispronounced name — whether first or last — I want to know about a time someone butchered it and how you handled it. Maybe it's so common that you have a go-to response, or perhaps there was one particular time that you set someone straight. On the other hand, maybe you just stay unbothered and let it go.

    For example, I knew a girl in high school whose name was Christiana (Kristy-ana), and this one teacher always called her Christina, no matter how often she corrected him. It came to the point where she refused to answer him unless he addressed her properly, going so far as to say, "I don't know who Christina is," if he kept mispronouncing her name.

    Similarly, there was that viral moment in 2019 when Hasan Minhaj took a moment to correct Ellen's pronunciation of his name while being interviewed on her show. He not only insisted that she try to say it right but also added, "If you can say Ansel Elgort, you can say Hasan Minhaj."

    Whether you calmly corrected someone or just went off, I want to know how you've handled people mispronouncing your name in the past. At the end of the day, it's basic respect to try and pronounce someone's name correctly, so there should be no shame in correcting others (though that's easier said than done).

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