I was 15 the first time a friend told me about an older guy she was talking to. At that point, a college-aged boy would have been considered older enough to us — except this guy was in his late 20s.
Despite many women having stories about this, it's not often acknowledged as "a thing." But recently, Redditor u/pizzaroll94 asked, "Women who 'dated' older men as teenagers that now realize they were predators, what’s your story?" In response, they received over 13k comments.
All of their stories share nuance and complexity: the way society teaches young girls that male attention is desirable and reflective of their own worth; a simultaneous sense of shame and maturity; doing things they were uncomfortable with to appease him; feeling special; reflections on how the relationship affected them longterm.
Because this is so insidious, it's important to address it. So if you're comfortable sharing, I'd like to know your story if you were a woman who "dated" an older man, only to realize sometime thereafter that he was a predator. (If you prefer to remain anonymous, please submit your story here.)
In fact, the two separate instances when I asked women in the BuzzFeed Community to share lessons they wish they'd learned earlier, not dating older men as teenagers came up both times (it's number 11 here, and number 30 here).