8 Annoying People You Meet At Every Concert

Please pour another pint of beer over my head, you didn’t quite drench me the first time.

1. The Karaoke Queen

Everyone likes to sing along to their favourite songs at concerts, but the karaoke queen or king does it loudly, tunelessly and directly into your ear. All night. Enthusiasm’s great and all, but we’d like to be able to hear the person we actually paid to listen to singing now, please.

2. The Beer Thrower

Why would you buy massively over-priced beer at a concert only to throw it over a stranger’s head?

3. The Crowd Surfer

Face it, absolutely nobody likes crowd surfers. They block your view and almost always end up kicking you in the face. Come near me and I’ll drop you.

4. The Sex Pest

This guy targets women in the crowd. No matter how much space there is around him, he’ll spend the whole night pressing himself up against one or two women, leaving them wondering if there’s something in his pocket or he’s just really pleased to be there. If you spot the sex pest at work, call a security guard or the police, or deliver a swift kick to his nether regions - whichever you think will be more effective. We’re not saying violence is the answer, but violence is probably the answer.

5. The Mosher

Irrespective of the band you’re seeing or the genre of music they play, there’ll always be one guy trying to start a mosh pit. Dude, it’s a ballad, stop punching me in the back of the head.

6. The Amateur Photographer

With an iPad? Really?

7. The Screaming Teenager

They think they’re the first person to discover a band that’s been releasing records since the late 80s and will spend the entire gig screaming the lead singer’s name over and over and over. Your eardrums will bleed.

8. The Queue Jumper

If you want to get to the front, get there early. Try to push in front of me at your peril.

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