THE TRUTH ABOUT TITS (What Everyone Should Know)

3 historically accurate, socially important, & interesting stories about boobs ( . Y . ) you’ll repeat tomorrow. I PROMISE!

1.) Boobs aren’t stupid, they’re Yiddish!

"These filmmakers are such f---ing Boobs!" – Ozzy Ozbourn On the extremely rare occasion, (usually in England) when someone calls you a, "Boob" they aren't referring to the female anatomy. The word actually comes from the Latin balbus, meaning stammering.

Other languages use the same root:

'bobo' (Spanish) = silly, stupid, simple, naïve.

'bobo' (Portuguese) = fool, jester, clown; silly, imbecile, stupid

e.g. "The lazy boob was booby-trapped by the boob-tube for hours."

In America- around 1930, people began using the word, 'booby' to mean breasts. The exact reason why isn't known, but most etymologist (the people who study word origins) believe BOOBY was either;

a.) used as an onomatopoeia - to imitate a baby's cry or sucking sound

b.) a mispronunciation of the Yiddish word bubele or 'bubby'

c.) the word buba (in Hebrew) or puba (in Latin) meaning 'doll.'

Sandro Botticelli / Via public domain

Boobs aren't stupid... they're Yiddish!

2.) THE MILKY WAY... or ... THE HARD WAY?

We are all residents of... da-dit-it-DA {fanfare}, The Milky Way road of milk

Yup, translated from Greek, 'galaxy' (galaxias) literally means Road of Milk.

The name came from a Greek myth, in which baby Hercules is given to Hera to feed while she slept. Her milk was supposed to provide the future hero with immortality. (spoiler alert: It didn't work.)

When she awoke to find one of Zeus's bastard children at her breast she slaps the child away causing him to spit her milk across the sky.

-and that, my friends' is... The Milky Way

We're liv'in la via lactea

Wiki Commons / Via commons.wikimedia.org

Wait? Our galaxy was named after breast milk?

The breast cup of Champagne EVER!

Dion Lee / Via eater.com

a 2000-year-old rumor that is still going strong today

3.) Marie Antoinette LEFT BREAST DID NOT INSPIRE THE DESIGN OF THE FIRST CHAMPAGNE GLASS.

The "coupe" which resembles a shallow ice-cream dish on a footed pedestal DOES have a boob-like shape to it, but it was invented in England in 1663. (Marie Antoinette wasn't even born until 1755.) So how did this legend get started? Well, actually it has been around for MORE THAN 2 millennia in some form or another and has always been used to spread scandal for its victims.

Other women who have had the dishonor of, "the breast cup EVER" were as follows:

• Helen of Troy – also the TRUE inventor of drinking before dinner

(A.K.A. the cocktail)

• Madam du Pompadour - official chief mistress of Louis XV

• Madame du Barry – she basically started the French Revolution

(look her up or watch the movie, Affair of the Diamond Necklace)

• Empress Joséphine de Beauharnais - Napoleon's wife