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Which Restaurant Employee Are You? Find out where you fit in the food service family. All are welcome... NONE MAY LEAVE.

Which Restaurant Employee Are You? Find out where you fit in the food service family. All are welcome... NONE MAY LEAVE.

THE LEADER- THE CHEATER- THE FLIRT- Or EXPERT?

Which one of these is THE WORST?

You go out to eat with your family and they are paying. When the bill comes, you...

The cute chick in line ahead of you, says into her phone, "Com'on Slut, find us some place to go tonight."

Which of these statements do you know to be TRUE

There's a party at a friend’s house. Where are you?

Who would you LOVE to punch in the head?

Which would you rather SMELL LIKE?

You are the over worked under paid, angry bartender. Congratulations you are on the top of the food chain in the service industry. You consistently know more about what is going on then anyone else in the room. You are highly respected and get your choice of service hotties to sleep with. At this point in your career, and it is a career; people confuse your glazed demeanor with being pragmatic, find your narcissism charming, and your squalorly living situation bohemian. You are a kingpin who exists in a 12-foot-by-4-foot tequila scented jail cell and the whole world is yours to command… until you get to old to lift a keg that is.

The Angry Bartender

You are almost at the bottom of the service industry food chain. Your job description is as follows: stand at the front podium and be hot enough to distract the male clientele from noticing that their reservation is more than 20 min late; dumb enough to believe that the 35-year-old, live-at-home servers are ever going to make it big in the music industry; and bitchy enough to tell “table campers” they need to leave so other people can sit down.
You know less about what is going in the building then the non-English speaking buss boys. (or at least, that is what you lead them to believe.) You like playing the helpless girl card, so other will do your work for you. Subtle manipulation is a beautiful art, and you my friend, are Monet. Keep-up the good work.

The 17-Year-Old Hostess

You spent years in a culinary school and now you have to work in 100 degree heat with a bunch of high school burnouts that can’t tell the difference between a Hollandaise & a Béarnaise sauce. You love food, wine, and entertaining… turns out doing it for a living is infuriating. Your dishes are constantly being misrepresented by ignorant servers, forgotten about by bartenders, and the only time that you get to see a guest is when they are looking for a fight and the weasel-ly little manager is hiding in the back office. After few years of having all your creative dreams squashed by restaurant owners who use cheap products to cut cost, and classless imbecile customers who want to return the Ceviche because, “it tastes like raw fish,” you became a drunken bastard that periodically will throw a plate of hot food at who ever dare step behind the line to get a ramekin of ketchup.

The Drunk Chef

Your expert knowledge of the service industry is second only to your expert knowledge of “Class A” controlled substance laws. This was just supposed to be a summer job… in 1994, and you are bitter as hell about it. You deal with the public 40+ hours a week. That’s 34 hours with a$$holes and 6 hours chain smoking by the dumpster while bitching about a$$holes. 
The pride you once took, in your early days of training fledgling servers, has been sullied by wave after wave of freshly hired incompetence. Now it’s Friday night, at a fancy seafood restaurant, your section got triple sat, the Expo sent your food to the wrong table TWICE and some new server wants to know where the Steamers are from? Just tell him, “The are from Cleveland,” and you can smile to yourself for the first time all night as you hear him relay the special to a table across the room.
Try and remember that your keen powers of observation and timing can be used for good instead of evil… evil is just way more fun.

The Oldest Server on Staff

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THE LEADER- THE CHEATER- THE FLIRT- Or EXPERT?

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