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A Day In The Life Of A Mall Goth

Here's everything that's great about the natural habitat of Hot Topic's best customers.

It's important to energize with grody food court pizza. The cheese is cold, just like your soul.

Fast food is also good goth fuel, especially when followed by a post-meal clove cigarette.

Then it's time to strike an ironic pose near a sunny window display. Mall goths actually hate daylight, which makes it hilarious!

But hurry back in, because you just got GREAT news...

OMGOTH, RACE YOU THERE! Now, which Slipknot flag to buy? So many options!

Luckily, this girl is here to help! (And make sure that no one's shoplifting wristbands.)

Hot Topic always has the BEST CLOTHES, no matter what your mom says.

Seriously, you can never have too many edgy slogan T-shirts that tell the world you're *~UNIQUE~*

You stock up on the perfect essentials to highlight your untraditional eyebrows and awesome skull tattoo.

A cool band even makes an in-store appearance. They'll totally pose for an ANTI-ESTABLISHMENT MIDDLE FINGER pic with you! Sick.

Afterward, you check some sweet DDR action at the arcade. STOMP ON THE GAME LIKE THE WORLD HAS STOMPED ON YOUR SPIRIT.

Phew, all that movement made you hungry again. Time for more food court fare, aka edible sadness.

The thrill of a day at the mall can tire a goth out! You cope by playing dead at the mattress store. Wonder if Tempur-Pedic also does the insides of coffins?

What a day. The world may be a cold and dismal place, but at least you'll always have the mall to turn that black-lipsticked frown upside down.