1. Slayer holiday sweater Via slayer.backstreet-merch.com 2. Kiss kasket Via fanfire.com Dimebag Darrell was even buried in one! And for the low, low price of $3,299, you can be, too. 3. Mastodon "asstodon" shorts Via backstreetmerch.com 4. Wavves weed grinder Pretty much the most on-brand merch ever. 5. Weezer Snuggie Via wisdombywoody.wordpress.com 6. AC/DC grill mitt Via acdc.fanfire.com If you like $30 oven mitts, you're in luck! 7. Ween coloring book Via monsterfresh.com 8. Feist music box Via m.theglobeandmail.com It plays "Mushaboom," which definitely wasn't twinkly and sweet enough already and totally needed to be music-box-ified for that to come across. 9. One Direction toothbrush and toothpaste Via guardian.co.uk 10. Morrissey pillowcase Via Flickr: roziewong For those accustomed to sleeping alone. 11. Pixies cycling jersey Via guardian.co.uk Like, WHY? 12. "Weird Al" Yankovic trading cards Via nonsportupdate.com COLLECT THEM ALL! 13. Tenacious D cum rag Via s3.amazonaws.com 14. Dr. Dre magnetic refrigerator poetry Via insound.com For those who want to hang up particularly xxplosive grocery lists and chronic pictures of their nephew. 15. Rolling Stones skis Via thecultofbrand.com 16. Justin Bieber shower curtain Via toysrus.com There's no way of considering the existence of this thing that isn't at least somewhat skeezy. 17. U2 condoms Via lowtimespodcast.com 18. And, of course, the Rammstein dildo kit. Via amazon.co.uk They're molded from the real-life penii of Rammstein's band members. DILDO HAST MICH!