10 Things You Learn Whilst Visiting London

Here are 10 things I learned while staying in London for a fortnight.

1. Escalators

Via i.dailymail.co.uk

You should always stand on the right of escalators in case James Bond wants to run past you.

2. Boris Johnson

Via standard.co.uk

Boris Johnson is an actual mayor and isn't just Matt Lucas having a laugh in a wig.

3. Pigeons

Via upload.wikimedia.org

If you see a bird other than a pigeon it's essentially a UFO.

4. Driving

Via i.dailymail.co.uk

Car horns are used more often than accelerators.

5. Hot Nuts

Via wordpress.com

Everyone wants to sell you hot nuts.

6. Airports

Via england-travel-tips.com

When your plane lands in Heathrow, Stansted, Luton or Gatwick you are approximately halfway to London.

7. Drinks

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If you offer to buy a round of drinks you may have to sell your vital organs (Although they may have limited value due to your alcohol consumption) to afford it.

8. Garden

Via static.messynessychic.com

"Garden" means an outdoor space where you store 3 flower pots and your cat shits.

9. Tesco

Via upload.wikimedia.org

Statistically, 1 in every 2 people own a Tesco store.

10. The Queen

The Queen's graphics are a lot shitter in real life.