Robbie Hayes = Aggressively Manscaped Ken Doll ABC / Disney / Pixar A little too slick, and A LOT too hair-sprayed. Daniel Maguire = A weiner ABC He looks like a weenie and he is a weenie. Derek Peth = John Krasinski ABC / Frazer Harrison / Getty Images I mean, from day one. Self-explanatory. Derek easily could've found love with Pam Beesly. Christian Bishop = Oscar from Shark Tales ABC / Dreamworks THIS IS UNCANNY. Christian Bishop = A quokka ABC / Flickr: samuelwest / Creative Commons He's smiley, likable, and joyful..but not necessarily the star of the frat house (or animal kingdom). James Taylor = Will Haduch ABC Robby should've shared with Will early on that if you grow a beard, Jojo keeps you longer — AMIRITE?! Will Haduch = Charlie Bucket Sadly, Will did not get a Golden Ticket. See what I did there?! Luke Pell = Charlie Sheen ABC / CBS Honestly, we like Luke. But you can't deny that look. It's just a liiiittle bit too...passionate. Coley Knust = Paul Dano ABC / Kevork Djansezian / Getty Images Luckily for Coley, who no one knows, his doppelgänger is famous enough for the both of them. Chase McNary = An Alpaca It's adorable, but you can see in it's beady little eyes that it wants to kill Derek during the 2-on-1. Grant Kemp = The Crimson Chin OK, so we know that he's also been compared to "Handsome Squidward," but Grant also bears a striking resemblance to this strong-chinned superhero. He also wears red and Grant's a firefighter. Evan Bass = Bruce from Family Guy LOL, that 'stache tho'. Gotta say, Bruce's outfit is a vast improvement to Evan's ripped shirt. Alex Woytkiw = Lord Farquaad Both have a bizarre Napoleon Complex and, TBH, we pity both of them. Alex Woytkiw = An Oompa Loompa We didn't know Alex actually had a triplet!! Alex Woytkiw = A Weasel ABC / Flickr: yeliseev / Creative Commons This is the last Alex one, we promise...but he is SUCH a rodent. Jordan Rodgers = Veggie Tales Asparagus IT'S JUST A MIRROR IMAGE. Jordan Rodgers = A Fancy Veggie Tales Asparagus Because, you know, he's gotta get dressed up for the rose ceremony. Vincent Ventiera = Vinny Guadagnino ABC / Andrew H. Walker / Getty Images Is it a rule that all guys named Vinny are required to have a peculiar square haircut? Chad Johnson = Bruce The Shark Chad needs a reminder that Bachelors may not be friends, but they CERTAINLY aren't food.