Skip To Content
  • Viral badge
This post has not been vetted or endorsed by BuzzFeed's editorial staff. BuzzFeed Community is a place where anyone can create a post or quiz. Try making your own!

Here's What "The Bachelorette" Contestants Look Like

You can't tell us that Jordan Rodgers doesn't look like asparagus.

Robbie Hayes = Aggressively Manscaped Ken Doll

ABC / Disney / Pixar

A little too slick, and A LOT too hair-sprayed.

Daniel Maguire = A weiner


He looks like a weenie and he is a weenie.

Derek Peth = John Krasinski

ABC / Frazer Harrison / Getty Images

I mean, from day one. Self-explanatory. Derek easily could've found love with Pam Beesly.

Christian Bishop = Oscar from Shark Tales

ABC / Dreamworks


Christian Bishop = A quokka

ABC / Flickr: samuelwest / Creative Commons

He's smiley, likable, and joyful..but not necessarily the star of the frat house (or animal kingdom).

James Taylor = Will Haduch


Robby should've shared with Will early on that if you grow a beard, Jojo keeps you longer — AMIRITE?!

Will Haduch = Charlie Bucket

Sadly, Will did not get a Golden Ticket. See what I did there?!

Luke Pell = Charlie Sheen


Honestly, we like Luke. But you can't deny that look. It's just a liiiittle bit too...passionate.

Coley Knust = Paul Dano

ABC / Kevork Djansezian / Getty Images

Luckily for Coley, who no one knows, his doppelgänger is famous enough for the both of them.

Chase McNary = An Alpaca

It's adorable, but you can see in it's beady little eyes that it wants to kill Derek during the 2-on-1.

Grant Kemp = The Crimson Chin

OK, so we know that he's also been compared to "Handsome Squidward," but Grant also bears a striking resemblance to this strong-chinned superhero. He also wears red and Grant's a firefighter.

Evan Bass = Bruce from Family Guy

LOL, that 'stache tho'. Gotta say, Bruce's outfit is a vast improvement to Evan's ripped shirt.

Alex Woytkiw = Lord Farquaad

Both have a bizarre Napoleon Complex and, TBH, we pity both of them.

Alex Woytkiw = An Oompa Loompa

We didn't know Alex actually had a triplet!!

Alex Woytkiw = A Weasel

ABC / Flickr: yeliseev / Creative Commons

This is the last Alex one, we promise...but he is SUCH a rodent.

Jordan Rodgers = Veggie Tales Asparagus


Jordan Rodgers = A Fancy Veggie Tales Asparagus

Because, you know, he's gotta get dressed up for the rose ceremony.

Vincent Ventiera = Vinny Guadagnino

ABC / Andrew H. Walker / Getty Images

Is it a rule that all guys named Vinny are required to have a peculiar square haircut?

Chad Johnson = Bruce The Shark

Chad needs a reminder that Bachelors may not be friends, but they CERTAINLY aren't food.

Did you know you can sign up for a BuzzFeed Community account and create your own BuzzFeed posts? Get started here!

Create your own post!

This post was created by a member of the BuzzFeed Community.You can join and make your own posts and quizzes.

Sign up to create your first post!

BuzzFeed Daily

Keep up with the latest daily buzz with the BuzzFeed Daily newsletter!

Newsletter signup form