back to top
Community

Here's What "The Bachelorette" Contestants Look Like

You can't tell us that Jordan Rodgers doesn't look like asparagus.

Posted on

Robbie Hayes = Aggressively Manscaped Ken Doll

A little too slick, and A LOT too hair-sprayed.
ABC / Disney / Pixar

A little too slick, and A LOT too hair-sprayed.

Daniel Maguire = A weiner

He looks like a weenie and he is a weenie.
ABC

He looks like a weenie and he is a weenie.

Derek Peth = John Krasinski

I mean, from day one. Self-explanatory. Derek easily could've found love with Pam Beesly.
ABC / Frazer Harrison / Getty Images

I mean, from day one. Self-explanatory. Derek easily could've found love with Pam Beesly.

Christian Bishop = Oscar from Shark Tales

THIS IS UNCANNY.
ABC / Dreamworks

THIS IS UNCANNY.

Christian Bishop = A quokka

He's smiley, likable, and joyful..but not necessarily the star of the frat house (or animal kingdom).
ABC / Flickr: samuelwest / Creative Commons

He's smiley, likable, and joyful..but not necessarily the star of the frat house (or animal kingdom).

James Taylor = Will Haduch

Robby should've shared with Will early on that if you grow a beard, Jojo keeps you longer — AMIRITE?!
ABC

Robby should've shared with Will early on that if you grow a beard, Jojo keeps you longer — AMIRITE?!

Will Haduch = Charlie Bucket

Sadly, Will did not get a Golden Ticket. See what I did there?!

Sadly, Will did not get a Golden Ticket. See what I did there?!

Luke Pell = Charlie Sheen

Honestly, we like Luke. But you can't deny that look. It's just a liiiittle bit too...passionate.
ABC / CBS

Honestly, we like Luke. But you can't deny that look. It's just a liiiittle bit too...passionate.

Coley Knust = Paul Dano

Luckily for Coley, who no one knows, his doppelgänger is famous enough for the both of them.
ABC / Kevork Djansezian / Getty Images

Luckily for Coley, who no one knows, his doppelgänger is famous enough for the both of them.

Chase McNary = An Alpaca

It's adorable, but you can see in it's beady little eyes that it wants to kill Derek during the 2-on-1.

It's adorable, but you can see in it's beady little eyes that it wants to kill Derek during the 2-on-1.

Grant Kemp = The Crimson Chin

OK, so we know that he's also been compared to "Handsome Squidward," but Grant also bears a striking resemblance to this strong-chinned superhero. He also wears red and Grant's a firefighter.

OK, so we know that he's also been compared to "Handsome Squidward," but Grant also bears a striking resemblance to this strong-chinned superhero. He also wears red and Grant's a firefighter.

Evan Bass = Bruce from Family Guy

LOL, that 'stache tho'. Gotta say, Bruce's outfit is a vast improvement to Evan's ripped shirt.

LOL, that 'stache tho'. Gotta say, Bruce's outfit is a vast improvement to Evan's ripped shirt.

Alex Woytkiw = Lord Farquaad

Both have a bizarre Napoleon Complex and, TBH, we pity both of them.

Both have a bizarre Napoleon Complex and, TBH, we pity both of them.

Alex Woytkiw = An Oompa Loompa

We didn't know Alex actually had a triplet!!

We didn't know Alex actually had a triplet!!

Alex Woytkiw = A Weasel

This is the last Alex one, we promise...but he is SUCH a rodent.
ABC / Flickr: yeliseev / Creative Commons

This is the last Alex one, we promise...but he is SUCH a rodent.

Jordan Rodgers = Veggie Tales Asparagus

IT'S JUST A MIRROR IMAGE.

IT'S JUST A MIRROR IMAGE.

Jordan Rodgers = A Fancy Veggie Tales Asparagus

Because, you know, he's gotta get dressed up for the rose ceremony.

Because, you know, he's gotta get dressed up for the rose ceremony.

Vincent Ventiera = Vinny Guadagnino

Is it a rule that all guys named Vinny are required to have a peculiar square haircut?
ABC / Andrew H. Walker / Getty Images

Is it a rule that all guys named Vinny are required to have a peculiar square haircut?

Chad Johnson = Bruce The Shark

Chad needs a reminder that Bachelors may not be friends, but they CERTAINLY aren't food.

Chad needs a reminder that Bachelors may not be friends, but they CERTAINLY aren't food.

Did you know you can sign up for a BuzzFeed Community account and create your own BuzzFeed posts? Get started here!

Top trending videos

Watch more BuzzFeed Video Caret right

Top trending videos

Watch more BuzzFeed Video Caret right
This post was created by a member of BuzzFeed Community, where anyone can post awesome lists and creations. Learn more or post your buzz!
The best things at three price points