Working Mom Office Party Fouls
Grinding on the dance floor…you're a mom, get a hold of yourself!
Drinking shots – it's a holiday party, not spring break 1995.
Flirting- Yes we are talking to you! (Just giggling and batting eyelashes, although innocent and not intended to lead anywhere) you are a married woman, not an intern.
Being the last one to leave – we know you don't get out much but for God's sake don't be the one closing down the bar.
Karaoke – this is a tricky one. It may seem like good clean harmless fun but just remember the image of you screeching your way through Alanis Morissette's You Oughta Know will be burned in the brains of everyone you sit across from at the conference room table.
Crying – it has happened! Maybe one too many martinis or you haven't eaten all day or your boss yelled at you or you are just really sad this time of year. Whatever it is – Snap out of it!
Wearing something slutty– We are so happy your breasts are still perky! Your
Co-workers just don't need to see them.
Wear heels that you can walk, dance and mingle in. Yes we are all very impressed that you can afford Louboutin's but not if you trip while wearing them and spend the night on your ass or barefoot, rubbing your tired tootsies.
Girl on Girl action…not the kind that you're thinking, get your mind out of the gutter. We mean just being too cozy with your gal pal. Sitting on each other's laps, boob or panty line inspecting, dancing together on a bar. We know this behavior rarely leads to a full on make out session but every male coworker watching you thinks it does. This is the office party not your old college bar! Keep it classy.
Glitter body spray – Just say no.
Showing side boob – see above.
Ugly Christmas Sweater – we know these are so bad, that they're good –actually considered trendy now…but lets face it, you're at that age wear the line between trend and taste blurs a bit. Your attempt at being clever and cool may just come off as that you really just don't know any better…your co - workers may think it's time for early retirement.
Heavy makeup – sure a little extra is fun and we know that you are so excited to be out past 10…but this is a cocktail party, not the opera.
When Baby Got Back comes on… and it will come on…resist all temptation to do the stereotypical white girl part "Oh my God Becky, look at her butt…" We know you know all the words…everyone knows you know all the words – time for a new party trick.
And speaking of singing along – When Biggie's Juicy comes on…and it will come on, don't rap the whole song, close your eyes and sway along like you're feeling all the lyrics. We know "it's your jam" but save it for when you're alone in your car.
Get off the bar!!
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